I desperately tried to finish this story but the heavy evangelising put me off. That is obviously because of my own personal views on religion. However, I think this would be a great book for the Christian young adult market. I don’t think there are enough fresh Christian books out there for young adult readers. Perhaps you should give publishing a go. X

Stopped reading at chapter 13. Not because I have a particular problem with Christianity or because of any disagreement of faith, but because moralizing lectures ruin good stories.

Also, super devout Christians or not, why would a bunch of working adults listen to VEGGIE TALES all day? And why would Dirg call it fun?

Also, back when he said he'd pay her he offered $200/week LESS EXPENSES. Maybe you meant including expenses, as on he'd cover them. Either way, that's way below minimum wage.

Also, the US and most of Europe no longer have orphanages. Haven't for quite some time because they were overwhelmingly horrible. Foster homes and group homes fill that role now.

"There... are... FOUR lights!" -Jean Luc Picard

Poor girl. She's already lost. Identity is just about everything.

Greetings author, I hail from the land called the curious mask and I was prepared to be disgusted. I did not expect much, it was interesting I'll admit, but still disgusted.
Everything is fine except for one crucial problem.
There is no Finch.
No! I demand an interdimensional cameo appearance in the prologue! I am disgusted this didn't happen!
And I shall ride my disgust away from this place (to maybe scrawl out a little bit more with my novel), and I will not succumb to your tempting tempting writing.
No! I will stand strong! Love your work but NO! MOAR FINCH NEEDS I!

How do I even start this review? This is such a well written, compelling, spiritual story, my words won't give it justice. I loved this story from start to finish. THIS is what I wish more Christian fiction was like. The way this story captures the transformation of the gospel, the imagery of slaves to darkness and servants of light, the unabashed declaration of truth, all of it was compelling and inspiring. I have recently been going through some difficult times and this story spoke to me on so many levels. I have been blessed to read it.

I also HAVE to commend the world building. Many times authors describe their worlds artificially so that you know you are reading. It hit me when I was two thirds through with this story that I had not even thought about the world building. It was so entwined and flawless I just bought into it immediately. This was how the world worked because it did. So many props for such an accomplishment!

Nice opening. I like their compromise on the name at the end.

It would be more organized if you did something to signify the switch in point of view when you go back and forth between them - either a page break, or some other writer's tool.

Hello.

I finished your story in 2 and a half days. I adore the characters and wanted to say thank you for writing. I am hoping there will end up being a sequel. I wish you life of happiness! Thank you again!

Yep. He's worth looking at, alright.

Honestly, I meant to leave a stream of reviews before this one, but couldn't bring myself to take time from reading to write anything, so let's just pretend there are at lease ten other reviews okay?

Okay, so, coming from someone who is not a romance lover. I don't write it, rarely read it, especially if it's a thicker romance (sort of a main part of the story), but despite that, I totally loved this story! I spent the last... close to three hours finishing chapters nine through twenty one, and didn't stop even for a bathroom break whish is going to be what cuts this review short, but still, know that your writing is amazing and enticing and I hold that love/hate feeling I hold for all my favorite authors, for you. I love you for writing this, but hate you for pulling me and causing me to obsess over your stories.
Thank you for a fantastic read.
-Fantasy Ocean

See, this ending would be totally cruel and heartless if I didn't have the next button available to me, but I do, so effect lost :P. My turn for a maniacal laugh.

Seriously though, this story is very good. I enjoy Lucy's firey personality, she makes me think of a volcano. Calm and dormant and quiet for long periods of time, but if you tick her off... KABOOM!

I'm interested to learn more about the dark-light thing, so I can't wait to read more on that.

Hah! I'm loving this! He is adorable! - didn't notice anything wrong with this chpt :)

(Didn't have time to log in)
Wow. It's really good so far! I plan on reading the rest of course, but I just thought I'd let you know my thoughts right off the bat. I actually Luke this Dark Skywalker. He gives me the shivers!
You asked for "criticism". Honestly, I think your writing is wonderful. Very intriguing. My one thought:
This paragraph -
I know what he wants me to answer, but I glare at him and decide that the best course of action is to shut up. He cupped his ear in my direction and looked at me with expectancy.

You've written this story in past tense. Correct me if I'm wrong? But in this paragraph, there's a bit of a mix between past and present tense.

Instead of "I know what he wants me to answer, but I glare at him and decide that the best course of action is to shut up." wouldn't you say, "I knew what he wanted me to answer, but I glared at him and decided that the best course of action would be to shut up." Know what i mean?
So, if I got any of this wrong, let me know. It's great so far!

I was addicted the whole time!
Great story! Now to read the next one!

I liked- no, I LOVED this story. The way it was written, how the plot was set up, the way things progressed. It was all fluid and natural, reflecting of human nature. While I don't agree with the religious decisions in the end, it was still an amazing story.

Awesome story! I really enjoyed it. Thank you so much for writing that :) Do you plan on publishing this?