|Reviews for Mark of Lilith|
| Yumko Yummy chapter 10 . 4/11/2015
wow don't forget about this story. keep updating.
| YveBushido00 chapter 2 . 1/6/2015
Hello! I just wanted to leave some thoughts after having read the first two chapters.
First off, I would like to say thank you for having written this. Writing is tough so I always commend writers for taking the effort. Now, I want to say that the way you started the story (the description of the bright moon and the breeze) was delightful. I can see the time put into the descriptions and it really painted a strong image in my mind. Wonderful.
Second, I just want to iterate how emotional that first chapter was. You pretty had me hooked with so many feels while Ayumi and Sena were walking and talking. There were so many tidbits of detail about the two girls and their lives that they felt like people I could've known. You convey those strong emotions really well. It's nice to read :)
Third, there's some deep thoughts here that I appreciate reading about. The first chapter mentioned suicide and was about sick patients...that's tough subject matter to work with. Also, the way you take a lot of the vampire clichés and worked them into respectable concepts and ideas is really cool. The Cain and Judas thing was like "wow" and it made a lot of sense. It's nice.
I'm not a grammar Nazi, so I don't care about the misspellings and skipped words. From what I've seen in other reviews, other readers might be anal about that stuff, so just be careful about those little mistakes. I know this is a drama story but I hope it doesn't get emotionally taxing. The way you handled it in the first chapter was great, but other stories have a tendency to go overboard. I'm sure you can walk the fine line between emotionally brilliant and emotionally unbearable.
I didn't think I would be into a vampire/not-vampire kinda story, but this is cool. I hope you keep writing so I can keep reading!