|Reviews for The Power Within|
| our-embossed-sky chapter 9 . 7/22/2015
Yas I am confused about Sarah and why she is so special...hmm. Something to do with Mr ashling and aiden's dad?
Anyways, great chapter like the last, i like the build up of the plot, and how you didn't rush to the climax. Amazing story, I'm sure you'll go far with this!
suggestion: Maybe less speech in the future chapters?
nevertheless, keep writing and updating! ;)))
| our-embossed-sky chapter 8 . 7/22/2015
This is probably my fav chapter so far (no offense, chapters 1-6) I loved this! Ohhh yess i have a ship! SarahAiden Sariden
YESS! *jumps around clapping hands like a seal* I love shipping characters.
Also, I want to know more about Sarah. I'm guessing that, because of Dusting and Stella's reactions, they know she's special, but in a good way. That, good, cos sariden MUST work out!
Keep updating, I'll go to the next chapter, i'm sure it'll be great!
| Netra chapter 9 . 6/4/2015
I am loving this story. Update soon I really want to know who are they and who is after them and what was their past. Nice story.
| our-embossed-sky chapter 7 . 5/29/2015
i have a feeling they won't find him...i can't wait to read more! you are an amazing writer, i am this story got me totally hooked! :D
| our-embossed-sky chapter 6 . 5/29/2015
i'm so, so curious to find out about all the backstories! like what are the levels? and why is Aiden so important? and how come stella and dustin can read a wierd language aiden can't?
i'm dying in curiosity, you'd better tell us readers soooooon
| our-embossed-sky chapter 5 . 5/29/2015
oh my god i'm so scared. thier dad seems like a cool dad, and i'm surprised they haven't gone there to help him yet!
| our-embossed-sky chapter 4 . 5/29/2015
sorry i haven't been reviewing...haha, lucky me i'm just about to read the next chapter, so the cliffe wan't really a cliffe...
love the story so far, keep going with it!
| Philosofly chapter 5 . 2/21/2015
For chapter two I noticed that you have a ton of sentences that are missing punctuation. Mostly what looks like periods.
I also notice that there is mostly dialogue. I think you could benefit from describing the scene and actions and maybe even adding in some more thoughts in POV. You seem like you have a goo grip on dialogue though! I'd just like to see more setting and character interaction (which is a good thing, obviously, since it means they're interesting)!
I read the rest of it and I pretty much have the same advice. You have nice dialogue, you just have to work on adding more scene and interaction to it. The story an plot sound fun, and you really ramp up the action at the end of chapter 4/5. To me it seems like those have more of what I'm looking for in terms of interaction and scene description, but you could still add more and have a phenom story.
Hope this helps! Good luck! :)
| Philosofly chapter 1 . 2/21/2015
First I just want to say 'yaaaay, another instrumental listener! :) '
Okay, so now I came to check out your story. Congrats on your first piece of original fiction! It can be a fun and interesting transition from ff.
In your prologue, I really love the idea of a father/daughter combo protecting a son. That's pretty awesome!
| CR Kira chapter 5 . 2/16/2015
great chapter! hope t learn more about their mom and past soon!
| CR Kira chapter 3 . 2/3/2015
Ok I love the story line and the hidden meanings, its great! Definently update soon! cant wait to see how it goes on.
| our-embossed-sky chapter 3 . 2/1/2015
Oh dear, poor Aiden, getting bullied because he's small. :( Though I don't thnk he should be so rude to his dad...awesome chapter ;)
| our-embossed-sky chapter 2 . 1/9/2015
ARGH! Cliffhangers! I love/hate those. Update! This is a lovely start for your story, I really want to know why Aiden is so special...can't wait to find out! ;) Will definitely keep reading and reviewing!
Thanks for your review for my story!
| Silver Sheryl chapter 1 . 1/8/2015
| CR Kira chapter 1 . 1/7/2015
It sounds pretty cool, I'm confused on who Douglas is though, none of the names had that. Other then that it seems like a real hook! Also try reading your stuff allowed to yourself to make sure it flows. ;)