Reviews for The Tournament
HoldMeTogether chapter 20 . 7/27/2015
NO! THAT'S NOT IT! :((((
You HAVE to write more! Seriously! I could feel the tension bulding and I was so absorbed into the last 4 or so chapters that I didn't even stop to comment I just kept reading xD
It is Sooooooo good my goodness (that's not the end, right?) So many questions answered, but then there were so many questions I was left with! HOW will Jamie fix it! WHY won't Daniel wake up? AAAArrgh! I want them to be together so badly! xD
I liked that bit about the persuasion spell too, that cleared up my initial worries about the lack of police involvment after HArry's muder. That was such a climactic ending! Well done!
And please, write more! :3
Lorana chapter 12 . 6/3/2015
I really like this story so far. I think in the last chapter Jamie messed up a bit with making herself seem more girly as Knight. But only you know if they will catch on.
Lazerkat chapter 8 . 4/26/2015
This is actually one of my fav fantasy stories. I love the mystery and you can be sure that I'll try to figure it out!
HoldMeTogether chapter 2 . 1/18/2015
I have to say, this is rather well done! There are hardly any major mistakes which makes for an easy read, and it is just as engaging, having equal parts of excitement and emotion, practicality, and intrigue. Can't wait to read more! :3
(Love your endings, by the way. There's not many out there that can tie off a chapter so successfully, and leave the reader wanting more!)
mostardently chapter 1 . 1/11/2015
This was really well written! You describe things so well, I felt very immersed in the story. I liked the introduction of the 100, as well as your description of magical fighting, it was interesting and I wanted to know more! I did find it a bit confusing, just because I had some questions in the back of my mind while reading like 'what year is this?' 'what world does this take place in?' 'is everyone magical?' 'does everyone know about magic?' 'how do Jamie and Harry know about magic?' so I think taking steps to quickly establish your setting is important for the next chapter, to avoid reader confusion.
Otherwise I think this chapter took pace in a great way, right into the action and capturing my attention. Jamie's and Harry's interactions quickly established them as close, and while I feel we didn't have enough time to get to know Harry, I'm sure in future chapters we will learn more about him.
The premise is certainly interesting, with the elitist 100 and Jamie and Harry set up as rebels against them. The parts you included about Harry's more physical fighting style were great!
I think you're a very capable writer, I spotted no spelling mistakes and only a few grammar mistakes, so it was very easy to read and enjoy without being constantly stopped up by annoying mistakes. This story definitely has potential, I look forward to reading more!
-Indie x