Reviews for The Soldier and his Lady
Friend Of A Fangirl chapter 1 . 12/24/2015
awwwww... That's a cute story. Maybe the ending needed a little work, but I know how hard those are to get right.
HMCity7 chapter 1 . 1/31/2015
Thank you for this story, you have a lovely writing style and a good knowledge of how it should be structured, it flowed really nicely. I could picture all your characters and the dance hall so clearly. The only criticism I can give is; you may want to elaborate a bit on why Elsie thinks Harry is a ghost, just because he has cold lips and is slightly old fashioned doesn't necessarily scream out 'dead guy'. You could pepper in sentences beforehand about how he makes her feel, what makes him different? Is it something she can't quite put her finger on?
Overall, very good story. You're very talented.
I have a new post "The Hourglass" uploaded, if you get a minute I'd be so grateful for a review :)
doaz chapter 1 . 1/29/2015
Well-written. You got something correct that I've seen so many authors goof up - the dialog is done correctly - ," she said. Was easier to follow than the great majority of stories on FP. I liked the style. If it was me I think I'd liven up the dialog just a little bit. I don't think I've ever asked a girl if it was ok to kiss her. Dialog when Elsie met Harry "Hi," & "Yes," should be a period instead of a comma. Held my attention better than most stories on FP. Her chest fluttered - I wouldn't mind seeing that...