Reviews for Into the Shadows
cmaej chapter 1 . 4/6/2015
I understand this is your first draft, so typos and grammatical errors are to be expected. But damn, don't wait until you complete the story before editing! You don't want an unedited draft to be the first impression of your story. And the longer you wait, the harder it will be. I've made the same mistake myself.

Now, about the story... None of the characters really piqued my interest, but what can I say after only one chapter? Maybe there's a little to much mundane stuff going on. I would like to know more about how Sean's interest in Alex came about. It seemed to have come out of nowhere. Heh... heh... come. *w* /punted

I'm a bit interested in Shinma. She's a bit easy-going for someone who seems in charge of monster/vampire/werewolf/orwhatever hunter-group thingy. XD

I'm almost positive that Sean will go to the woods. Thanks for the warning, Alex. lol
Madcinder chapter 1 . 4/5/2015
I keep thinking of things to say that I then decide against, and ultimately I can only think of one thing I definitely want to make sure I get across. I want Felipe to save the day. Didn't get much of him, but he isn't disagreeable. I would want to know more about him given the chance.

Let's all play the pronoun game!

5'7'' is short.
DevilPogoStick chapter 1 . 4/5/2015
Well, this is a nice start really. I mean it introduce the characters and is building things up. While didn't see any action, I think it's better that way...Because this isn't an Underworld story XD

Keep it up!
Mokii chapter 1 . 4/4/2015
Dunkin' Donuts? No Starbucks or Tim Hortons? Haha, I'm kidding xD

Anyways, it's off to a pretty good start, introducing the main cast and whatnot. This feels like a horror movie where they would have the four friends and they would investigate something strange. Man, hope Sean doesn't to go into the woods to see what Alexa was talking about...

I'm suspecting Alexa's a vampire or something. Black hair, pale skin... might be a halfbreed since she could walk around normally in the sunlight. Or a vampire hunter and those people moving around are creatures and such. Haha, I'm just speculating

Only one suggestion though, the second and third paragraph didn't seem to flow with the rest of the story. It's like you stuck it in there to give more background info on Sean. I'm pretty sure if you tweaked the first paragraph or the fourth paragraph, it would flow much better.

Anyways, cool start! Can't wait to see the next chapters
Starart152 chapter 1 . 4/4/2015
That's a nice start for the story. There's nothing happening and not a lot about the character, but there's nothing to develop yet. It's mostly the presentation of the main characters.
cud-b-better chapter 1 . 4/4/2015
Wow, wondering what those things in the woods are, definitely trouble. Not much to go on with only the first chapter just a few char introductions a mysterious girl and a main guy who seems to be more giving me the impression of NPC than a main character at the moment. Well it's only the beginning.

Anyway a few errors/suggestions I noticed, always take with a grain of salt

silent ask for help [tough] he didn't - [though]

[She] sighed and ran his hands through his pale blond hair - [He]

...over Sean [handed] out to the school's courtyard - [headed]?

hysterically at something [he] had said. [add into sentence] Or take out had

Felipe had been teasing him about [it] for weeks now. - [add into sentence]

Keep it up.
Clear World chapter 1 . 3/31/2015
Mmm...decent chapter I guess? Ignoring any writing things. I'm so left in the dark on what the heck the second half of this chapter is about that I don't know how to feel abou it.

For the characters, this is their introduction, but they feel so blank to me so I'm indifferent to them right now. This is just me but, I would have liked it if Sean and Alexa had a more meaningful conversation in which it seems like they are 'bonding' more, but as it is, I guess it works. Not a real complaint, just a thought. I assume these are your two main characters.

Otherwise, i sort of don't have much to say about this chapter. It's passable with a very jarring second half that hits instantly. The characters are... meh at the moment, but the summary does make it sound better for now so, that's what I have to say about the story so far.
Sage Young chapter 1 . 3/31/2015
Well, it has certainly been an interesting read. It went slower than I expected, however there were little events happening the more or less kept thing chapter from feeling irrelevant or dragging on longer than it should have.

I had expected the chapter to end with Sean and his friends at the cinema so when the issue with his parents came up I was taken aback. It brought the prospect of Sean's parents into the story, which at first glance seemed unnecessary especially before any attack from the monsters. Still, it's an interesting twist and direction for the story to take.

Speaking of Sean's parents, the beginning definitely felt info-dumpy. In fact, information/establishment such as Sean being friends with Felipe and how he kept moving from place to place could be told through interaction within the story itself rather than dumping it out to the reader whole at the opening paragraphs like that, in my opinion.

As for the story, not a lot happened. Felipe and his friends seem mundane while Alexa's interesting, with the whole tie to a secret faction sort of feel so far, prob to a group that fights off/fends off the monsters listed in the summary.

I can't help but feel like she's some sort of Tsundere, ha ha! Near the last few paragraphs especially, where she seems more active in her desire to keep Sean from potential harm.

Overall, it's establishment and something akin to a prologue, setting things up for the first big bang that really kicks off the story. So far it has been an interesting read barring a few typos here and there. The most anticipated thing for me though, is how you're going to present your monsters. That would make or break Into the Shadows's reading experience for me.
Y. S. Wong chapter 1 . 3/30/2015
Not sure what to think yet. This first chapter felt like just a bunch of stuff happening. Teens talking, teen drama, some vague allusions to a grander plot going on. I didn't get a great sense of direction for the story, probably because you spent a lot of time focusing on details that were a bit, well, mundane. Or are they mundane? What do I know. (*w*)

Anyway, I think what you do well are characters. I can get a good feel for each of the characters' personalities through their words and actions. Alexa, in particular, gives off this really strange and somewhat awkward vibe, lol. I think she could be written a little bit better, because her speech comes off as rather unnatural and un-human to me. It's a bit jarring. Though, that could have been the effect you were going for to begin with.

It's a good start. I'd just like to see more of a tighter plot to give your characters room to shine.
Fox Trot 9 chapter 1 . 3/30/2015
Hmmmmmmmmm... Interesting... Just from this chapter, I have a few questions going in my mind... Why is Alexa trying to keep Sean out of whatever is about to happen? Is she Sean's protector or watcher? Who is this guest Shinma's talking about? And how does Sean figure into all of this? Questions, burning questions that need to be answered in the oncoming chapters... The motivations of these characters are quite intriguing...

As for Sean himself, he seems to be a clueless protagonist about to walk into a lot of trouble... Sean may have some weird feelings of foreboding (or not) from Alexa's warning... And he get easily flustered over seeming infatuations between himself and Alexa... Wonder if this'll spark a relationship between them or not... At least that's my interpretation... I wonder how things will play out...

As for this Filipe and the other girls, they seem like they'll be casualties in what's gonna happen... Who knows? Anyway, overall, I find this a solid start...
Darth Zannacross chapter 1 . 3/30/2015
So today is a horror day eh? ( Plays Goosebumps theme)

All right lets see, Sean seems likeable enough, the story has that summer vacation that's about to go to hell vibe. Alexia seems all right so far but, not to much to say at the moment. I wonder, will the threat be that Dunkin Donuts become alive and try to kill are hero's? Guess we will see.

Well, good job setting the mood, till next time.