First of all, bravo for writing a long poem which I enjoyed reading and didn’t at any point wish to be shorter. Usually I like my poetry condensed to cameo-size, but every now and then I find a long one that I like, and this is just such an exception.

I like that the outward circumstances remain so vague while the focus is all on the inner reality BUT the inner reality is shown in concrete ways. I loved the line “hankers after roses, incense, little notes...,” especially the word choice “hankers” seems very appropriate. The jigsaws, books and radio were also a great touch.

The interesting twist, of course, is that the roles of Hades and Demeter are switched here, with him being considerate and protective, while she slaps and pounces. That might have been overdone, the contrast overwrought, but instead you keep it nicely balanced. One lovely aspect of this is how the pomegranate, instead of being a nasty trick, is a token and bond between them.

Another thing I really liked is the rhythm and flow. I think this is one of the reasons why it is such a pleasure to read. Altogether an excellent poem.