|Reviews for The Chains That Bind|
| alltheeagles chapter 33 . 7/19/2016
I smell a sequel, what with the clues and the thread of the old man/hooded man/plant men unresolved. So when is that coming then? I hope you give Caewen a love interest (who doesn't die *Glare*) who's worthy of her and I hope it's a slow-burn romance cause I don't really like love at first sight arrangements - look what happened to Mael and Siegfried. Oh, oh, and I hope Caewen learns how to use magic! Or she could be the fighter and her BF could be the magic user!
| alltheeagles chapter 32 . 7/19/2016
On the one hand I'm happy that I was right about Queen Caewen (kind of), but on the other, I think you could probably spend a bit more time developing that scene, like maybe the humans would be a little more reluctant to accept her, or Siegfried could have some dying words to one of his commanding officers to pave the way for them accepting her. On the elves' side, maybe Caewen can have some kind of elven mark on her that appeared when Mael died, which shows them unmistakably that she is their chosen queen. As for the resistance, I think Kol should remain the boss of them, but ally himself to Caewen cause the resistance don't need a queen and anyway there's nothing to resist now so they're all free to disband.
| alltheeagles chapter 31 . 7/18/2016
I see what you mean about the time freeze scene. It was rather abrupt. Maybe a few details would smooth it out, you know, things like billowing sails stopped moving, men posed in mid air, that kind of thing. Maybe you could be a little more specific as well as to the effects of the magic, ie it hurts only the living, only non-living things, or...? Or on the other hand, you could be more obscure, something like 'releasing me will be akin to releasing a storm' and let Caewen decide what that means, and whether she is willing to take the risk.
| alltheeagles chapter 30 . 7/18/2016
Ohhhhhhh now Caewen is well and truly an orphan. Man, your body count must be in the thousands over the past three chapters. You sure this still rates as T? Well I suppose if you play online games this kind of carnage is nothing unusual, but those games are rated PG18, aren't they? Don't worry, I'm just nitpicking - you aren't particularly gory in your depiction of death and killing, and death is just a fact of life. Hats off to you for having the guts to kill off MCs, and so many of them, before the story is anywhere near done.
| alltheeagles chapter 29 . 7/16/2016
NNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooo! *turned blue from lack of air*
Why, oh why, why why why why did you have to k-k-k-ill the captain?
It was a glorious death, sure, but still, couldn't you just, IDK, very badly wound him? Poor Caewen, now she's well and truly an orphan. No wait, did Siegfried die yet? Hmph, some father figure he turned out to be!
Or... is he dead? He just closed his eyes, right, right?
| alltheeagles chapter 28 . 7/16/2016
For a moment there I thought Caewen would be the victim and she'd be hurt or die just to make both her parents see the utter stupidity of their actions, but no... it was... Oh No! Mael! Oh don't kill her off! I like her more than Siegfried - grrr, the stupid jealous guy, how could he hurt the woman he loves? Even if it was by accident, I don't think I can forgive him for that stupid, stupid, act!
A new weapon? You keep rolling out the surprises, and it's already so near the end of the story. I wonder what it could be?
| alltheeagles chapter 27 . 7/15/2016
It makes me sad again how much siegfried has changed for the worse. He used to care for Mael and he spared her life because he still loved her, and then there he is wanting to kill her and saying he never should have loved her. I take back what I said about making Caewen the captain's blood sister. I see now why you put in that plot point - of course Siegfried would be enraged to have his daughter calling another man father! But he can't really complain, really, because he did bring it down on himself. I wonder what would have happened if he'd found out about Caewen as soon as she was born? Oh well surely this tale would never have been told? And the old man/hooded man/plant men? What's up with them?
| alltheeagles chapter 26 . 7/15/2016
That was chaotic, but I don't mean that in a bad way cause battle is supposed to be chaotic and disorganised. I was kind of hoping that Mael and Siegfried would stop fighting when they realised that Caewen was somewhere in the middle of the fight, but that didn't happen. They both seem to be losing their sanity the way they lash out at each other. Scary.
That bit about magic still existing in the underworld is interesting. Could the dark elves/necromancers etc be the ones to end the war with their particular type of magic? So anyway the ending was a little abrupt with the sudden appearance of the dwarves, and it leaves me wondering what is the significance of that ship...
| alltheeagles chapter 25 . 7/15/2016
A truly exciting chapter! I was just about to ask how Caewen had been exiled from the elves when you answered my question with that flashback. I was thinking how Caewen must have been stolen from the elves, or been rescued from the middle of the battle, the first time you mentioned that Mael was in childbirth during the thick of battle. Seems I wasn't far off, but it's heartbreaking how children become the victims of their parents' mistakes.
The identities of the old man and the hooded man still elude me. Hmm... could one of them be... Siegfried in the future? Or the captain? But no, how can that be? I'm just making wild guesses now...
| alltheeagles chapter 24 . 7/15/2016
Oh dear, Mael and Siegfried are so ready to kill each other. That's the flip side of a strong love I guess, that if you can't have that person then you'd rather have them dead by your hand. I particularly liked the description of Mael and her guard - it was, IDK, so majestic somehow, that image of birds of prey and death whistling in on the wind.
I'm glad that Elan has met the resistance, but I think the encounter could be improved on ie Elan shouldn't be so quick to believe Kol. He should ask for some kind of proof that they aren't on the humans' side, maybe? It'd add to the drama and Kol's cause would be all the more convincing.
| alltheeagles chapter 23 . 7/15/2016
Oh wow... it just struck me. Caewen's a princess! OMG, and there I was thinking she was just one of Kol's ragtag band of brothers. So now we know what one of the endings of this story might be: Queen Caewen, no less. And beside her, King Robin? That'd end the animosity quite effectively wouldn't it?
I understand that you use italics to mark flashbacks, but I think maybe you don't need to do that here since the entire thing is a flashback. You already stated that this happened fifteen years ago right at the start after all. The thing is, italics are harder to read than normal text, so having a whole chp full of them might not be the best idea?
| alltheeagles chapter 22 . 7/15/2016
I need to check that I got my timeline right.
So this is happening at the same time that Kol is headed for the island with his stolen ship, and Elan and the others are on the island already? I take it that Elan is the resistance of sorts (or traitor as his fellow elves might call him? Unless he's a human, in which case what is he doing on the island?) among the elves, and Kol is coming to help him, but will that mean Kol and Elan and co. will fight on the human side, or against both sides? I'm worried for them - they have one ship against two armies. Whatever will become of them?
| alltheeagles chapter 21 . 7/13/2016
Eh, there I was talking about shipping Caewen and the captain, and THIS happens. I kind of feel like face-palming myself for missing the age gap. I just didn't make the right connections I guess. Okayyyyyy, let me readjust. Caewen as Captain Robin's daughter. Well, she IS half-elven and Lorien was an elf. And he seems really fond of her. But wait, why can't she be his sister? How about a blood sister? You know, make tiny cuts, bleed and mix their blood, that kinda thing?
Never mind, I'll come to terms with this new arrangement by and by...
| alltheeagles chapter 20 . 7/13/2016
Is this the old man in charge of the plant men? I wonder who the hooded guy is then? Or is it the other way round, the hooded man is the plant men's boss and the old man is... somebody else. Anyway, it's quite a shock that the war has been going on for 15 years! Funny, though, I just had an impression that Caewen was a little older (twenty, or at least 18), maybe cause I almost shipped her with the Captain.
That was a nice touch, juxtaposing Siefried and Mael's flashbacks. I loved the bit where Siegfried reflects on how he became a king for Mael, and made her his queen. So romantic!
| alltheeagles chapter 19 . 7/13/2016
Have I met Elan and Diva and Screech before? Argh. I feel bad for not remembering if I did, and I didn't then I'm confused. Hmm... is this related to the scene in chp 7 then, when Kol had a magical 'teleconference' with his friends? Maybe it'd help if you had some sentences to remind us of when we last encountered Elan?
It's me, really. *Sigh* I am such a doofus at remembering names! Even in real life.