i see you posted story i read a few hours ago. you're avoiding me. can i ask why?

Mkay. Description is key, It helps set the scenes of the story and gives the reader somethin to envision while he reads.

Don't forget the commas after someone has spoken . "YOU," Lauren said...

This has a lot of potential, however in the future I'd suggested using single line breaks and perhaps providing more narration and less dialogue.