Reviews for Predatory Instincts
Guest chapter 2 . 4/9/2016
Continue!
Ventracere chapter 2 . 6/22/2015
This chapter was a lot of fun to read. I feel quite bad for Fin, and this sounds pretty bad, haha, but it was thrilling to see his fear and the battle between the guard and the shifter in his point of view. Firstly, this introduces us to his character other than just that he's a scared boy forced to do this. But now, we see something else. He's a researcher, and someone who knows the castle well. He seems like a bit of a loner, which allows him to know potentially more secret passages than most other people - which makes him incredibly valuable to the shifter.

Another thing I liked was the battle itself. You do it in a clean cut way so that it's not dragged on too long or too short. It's a quick read, but it's a important one. The shifter knows what he's doing, knows how to buy his time. Even if he didn't mean to get hurt the first time around, it's nice to see the guard underestimate him and lead to his demise. The shifter is smart too, doesn't let Fin get away after the battle.

One thing, though. I'm a little surprised Fin seems to lose his fear when he's leading the shifter through the passage. He can think clearly. I'm more or less questioning why he's so calm once he's trying to find the passage way.

Thanks for the read!
Ventracere chapter 1 . 6/21/2015
[He grit his teeth, stilling and forcing himself to breath through the worst of the pain] - I think "breath" should be "breathe" here.

[most definitely not what his body need, nor wanted, at the moment] - this should be "needed" instead of "need."

This was a strong chapter. I liked how you carry through Adrik's pain, he's in pain, but at the same time he can still think and carry out the tasks that he needs to. Right there, we can see that he's a determined, strong character which, I think is going to be a defining trait as a were. Another thing, even though he's determined, he isn't so much so that he is impervious to guilt. He understands to some extent, what Finris is going through, so it seems. But survival overtakes that urge.

Another thing that I liked was your descriptions. They're interspersed well with your introspection and it wasn't so heavy that it dragged the pace. The pacing itself was good, not too fast, and not to slow. It was a little slower in the beginning, but built up to the end, where you leave us off at a cliffhanger.

Thanks for the read!
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 1 . 6/21/2015
I like the opening scene to this - I think you do a good job there of conveying Adrik's pain and the severity of the situation to the reader, which is important for grounding us. You also give us a few hints at the sort of magic that's being used in this fantasy world, which is good - a crucial part of building a solid fantasy novel is giving the reader a world they can believe exists and fleshing out enough details to make it feel that way.

And definitely a strong closing, for that matter! Though I don't think cliff hangers are necessary every time, they are a great way to nab your reader's interest there at a crucial point to make them want to turn the page, and this one does that, I think. So kudos there! I look forward to reading on and learning more about both Adrik and Finris. :)

- Moonstar
Fobbster chapter 1 . 6/13/2015
strange.
Lark chapter 1 . 6/3/2015
I love this premiere chapter! I especially like your word choice right at the beginning: “Adrik’s whole body hurt, and when he moved, fresh pain washed over him, threatening to black out his vision again.” Saying that the pain “washes” over him makes it feel like a wave rolling in and engulfing him in darkness. Very evocative. You give us a very strong sense of Adrik’s pain and struggle throughout, and paint great pictures of the scene as it unfolds.

Also, what a cruel cliffhanger! I hope you update soon!