|Reviews for The Bookworm and the Social Butterfly|
| Myst Marshall chapter 5 . 1/5/2016
Yes! I'm loving the newer version! I'm glad some of my advice has helped...hopefully. :)
That was exactly what I was talking about, Zach showing his arrogant side at the end of chapter 5 and Aria being nervous in the dress.
Anyways, you make up for the short chapters by updating fast. Longer chapters doesn't always mean better story. :)
| Victoria Best chapter 2 . 1/4/2016
Aww, this was a cute chapter. I love the natural chemistry between Zach and Aria. There is certainly a connection there, even if they themselves cannot see it. I smiled when Zach flat out asked her why she doesn't like him, and then again when he says "you like me." She probably does, Zach, but saying this is just going to scare her off :p And aww, she blushed! Great job at hinting their attraction for each other and not just simply telling us. Nice chapter :)
| Victoria Best chapter 1 . 1/4/2016
I think you've got a really great start to your story here! It was cute, fast and engaging and certainly made me want to read more.
I like Aria. She seems like a really cool character and it will be interesting to read more about her. I understand exactly how she feels - I am a bit of a loner myself and I'd rather sit with a book than go out partying, so it's great that you have created a really relatable character.
Zach seems a bit arrogant, but I have a feeling there is another side to him, a side that he doesn't show, so it will be interesting to see how the character develops and I hope there is more to him than meets the eye.
Haha, the beginning was adorable. I really got a sense of her closeness with her sister and it made me smile when she started singing as well, even though she knew she would be embarrassed.
"Met his gaze with a cool glare of my own." Aww, this was a cute line. Great job with the description :)
Nice start and keep writing!
| Myst Marshall chapter 10 . 1/4/2016
I remember reading this earlier in the year, I guess I never got around to finishing it or putting it on my follows list. It's on my follows list now, I made sure of that. I'm gonna give you some constructive criticism. I hope you don't get offended, I don't mean to bash your work, you definitely have talent, but these are the things I noticed.
First off, I love shy, nerdy girls, getting with hot, popular guys. One of my favorite pairings!
Personally, I feel like you could do more character development. Aria is suppose to be the shy, nerdy girl so how come she opens up to Zach so quickly? Granted she ignored him at first, but within a chapter she started talking to him like she's known him forever. I know she promises to try to get along with Zach, but I would expect some grudging ness and forced kindness on her part.
On the other hand, Zach is described as an arrogant, conceited person. Other than the fact he has girls hanging off of his arm, he should be saying some stuff, teasing of course, to Aria to show his arrogance.
And Aria's sudden change. I would expect that she would be slightly self conscious since she's so use to wearing hoodies and jeans. Instead, she was openly teasing Zach like she was completely in her element. Which we know she is not.
Also, I would like to see more variety in sentence structure. When you have a bunch of simple sentences, it makes the flow of the story seem short and choppy. Mix up your sentence types, compound, complex, simple, and compound-complex, to have a better flowing story.
Uhm what else? I'm not sure how I feel about Sadie's character. One moment she was selling Aria out and the next she was defending her? At least, if you're going to do that, you should space out these events and not make them right after each other. Makes her seem kind of bipolar.
Also, when Aria sees Zach kissing Kristina, you should describe her emotions. Like she felt her heart braking or something. I don't really get feel for her because you don't give us any details on what she is feeling. She just runs away. Maybe a couple sentences like, "I could feel my heart drop and shattered into a million pieces. As I ran, I tried to pick up the pieces, but I couldn't because I knew Zach already had some of the pieces of my heart."
I don't know, something to describe her emotions.
You could also slow down your pacing just a tad. I know the readers just want to see them get together, but make the readers anticipate that moment. Don't just hand it out on a silver platter. Aria should stay mad at Zach for a couple of chapters and make him work on getting her back. That's just my opinion though.
Okay so that's all I remember at the top of my head after reading your whole thing in one go. Haha. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions. I'm more than likely forgetting something so I will add that to my next review, next chapter. (That means update! :D)
Keep writing and hope you update soon. And don't get discouraged by the lack of review, write because you want too!
| Tw1nkl3t03s chapter 4 . 1/3/2016
not cool zach not cool
| Tw1nkl3t03s chapter 3 . 1/3/2016
hahaha that twinkle little star song is hilarious. very clever
| Tw1nkl3t03s chapter 2 . 1/3/2016
good for Aria keeping her ground. I am glad Sadie stepped up as a friend
| Tw1nkl3t03s chapter 1 . 1/3/2016
This chapter is so cute. I can just picture her little sister singing that song. You did a very good job creating an image for the reader. ;D
| WindSongEnchantment chapter 9 . 11/5/2015
LOVED IT! Give us more!
| damnphool39 chapter 9 . 11/4/2015
| JokerJoker chapter 8 . 11/3/2015
die. No offense!
But how could you end it like that?
| lizzie chapter 6 . 9/17/2015
Yep - I love this story! You have me hooked - please add the rest! I must know how this ends!
| LorrahBear chapter 1 . 7/16/2015
Ohhhh, that's terrible! I feel so bad for her. Sadie is no friend!
| Zippy424 chapter 7 . 7/15/2015
Please please please don't make Aria get together with Jackson. Her and Zach are the ones for each other. if you really feel the need to have Jackson get together with someone make it Sadie but please please keep Zach an Aria together.
| Zippy424 chapter 6 . 7/15/2015
no no no not a love triangle she has to get together with zach PLEASE