Reviews for Under a blue-grey sky
pumadelic chapter 16 . 4/19/2017
There's the right kind of irony in the captive journey. I like that you distinguish the snatchers from each other and give at least one of them some motivation to talk. Our heroine has to reflect on her relationship with it because he is pretty? It's hard for Cray to analyse but she knows she's in it for good or probably ill. A bond has formed. Puke-buckets is a pithy insult.

Maybe a bit more sensory description of the journey. Poor Rayne really is getting the slave treatment, drugged and slung over his animal transport.

At last The Lady. The minute Cray recognised her voice I realised something - and I proved to be right. The exposure scene unfolds as I might expect - our villainess is a purring, catlike sexual sadist. Cray's feelings for Rayne are tested yet again. The end gives us a nice plot point.

It's all deftly done but I may have liked some twist on the femme fatale thing - I don't know, she offers them a pizza with human thumbs on it or she makes them kiss for her own entertainment. So not an anti climax but feels like more development on the horror to come.
Barbados chapter 22 . 4/17/2017
Awww, I forgot how much I love these two!

Always with the great figurative language; you have a gift for it.

Rayne's got a lot to work through, but at least he has Cray. I'm actually really interested to see what's happening outside of these two, though. Hopefully I'll learn soon, because their actions will be having some serious repercussions.

Wonderful end to this chapter as well, very touching. :)
BradytheJust chapter 36 . 4/14/2017
*Smacks Rayne*
Alright, normally I don't use violence as a first option but COME ON! I honestly thought the betrayal was going to come from the outside, maybe guards seeing them or Brook's/Rayne's power accidentally giving them away.
I never thought any member of the group would purposefully betray one another, but having Rayne jump to conclusions about the girl he loves... she didn't mean to hurt him! Besides, they both just met Brook and Eryk, so yes some things are going to slip out.

Argh! I just want everyone to be in love and happy! Is that too much to ask?!
pumadelic chapter 15 . 3/29/2017
Love Rayne; 'not very interesting to watch'. Still finding his magic alluring - that murk between the hands.

Well I asked for more plot and I got it.

The capture scene is as blackly comic as it is tense and I like this. When you first presented the snatchers, I wasn't keen on the broken dialect but I've changed my mind. They are not directly threatening or sinister; they are in fact, quite stupid, but they could still be stupid and thuggish enough to do their job well for the Lady.

Rayne's calculations bode well for their future safety - he is always thinking logically in terms of survival, which endears him to me

Don't think the subjective point of view and Rayne's typical detachment works quite so well for ingesting the sedative. it is great that he is befuddled when Cray makes her choice and choose to stay by his side at the expense of self preservation. You have invested enough time in her attachment to him to make it believable.

The last four lines could do with more confusion and sensory input - a greater realisation that Cray is hugging Rayne. Then the last two lines, which do have impact, would have more impact.

Looking forward to an encounter with the Lady.
pumadelic chapter 14 . 3/29/2017
All credit to you. It is not easy to write about someone numbed by trauma but you pull it off really well, and affectingly here. Rayne is in character throughout. I still don't know if he was always a little 'diverse' or whether it is in response to the loss of his parents, and his filial/survivor love and guilt - it doesn't matter. It makes sense that he would blame her for stirring things up.

the kiss is sweet and Rayne's contemplation of it endearing. The emotional hide and seek at the pond works too. I admit I'm not overly taken with the verse so it's use as a leitmotif is not doing it for me. Besides, Rayne's love simply can't - and I would say - shouldn't - be expressed in such terms.

The writing is clear and unfussy. I like the sun 'tiptoeing across the sky as if afraid to disturb him'

Cray's loyalty and determination impresses. Looking forward to see where it goes next but more plot development needed, I'd say.
pumadelic chapter 13 . 3/29/2017
Since I haven't read for a while, I actually can't remember if Rayne now knows Cray's true gender. So the opening is confusing for me.I think he doesn't Still, apart from pronoun confusion very deftly written: I always enjoy Rayne's delicately dissociated point of view.

We learn more of Rayne's motivations and his feelings towards Cray, although dismissed,continue to grow. She is becoming central to him and he doesn't understand why. His 'detached' analysis of her 'childishness' in rejecting Spooky/Haylden is amusing as it ironically mirrors his own childlike innocence in not understanding his increasing attachment to Cray.

The final narrative segment with the rabid dog is nicely paced and a great idea to have Rayne stop time and freeze the scene to help Cray. Cray's instinctive responses are again contrasted with Rayne's now compromised indifference to others. Good that you aren't sentimentalising him - the drop the brat line' is in character. Great detail here: like the unmoving spittle.

Feeling very curious now about the wider plot and want it to broaden out from Rayne and Cray.
BradytheJust chapter 35 . 3/26/2017
Okay, so Eryk is a girl... and yay, she's going to marry Brook! Hooray! :D

"The truth bobbed to the surface, only to be held submerged by his better judgment." Amazing line! :D Having this chapter from Rayne's POV made it better, because we see all the confusion personally rather than Cray watching him wake up and having her narrate.

I really like having Brook as a healer/bender/magic user, and Cray and Rayne seem to be a younger version of Brook and Eryk. :) So if things go well, we might be planning a double wedding!

And finally the hug scene was very touching... why did it have to be interrupted? :/ Hugs forever!
Great chapter as always my friend!
AngryFerrets chapter 30 . 3/17/2017
A very touching and moving tribute to Haylden. He was always such a "twitchy" character. Never sure what side he was on or just what his endgame was he was a great supporting character. The closure about his motivations and his checkered past after Cresta was taken was a nice tie off. Although never really buying into him or trusting him it was kind of sad to see him go like that, especially right in front of Cray and the emotional burden she'll likely carry now in response to witnessing how he died and why.

A terrific chapter that really did a wonderful job of heightening the tension and sense of danger. It was too easy sometimes to think of their flight as some sort of magical, fantastic escape. This is a stark reminder that the stakes for them are high, their enemies are dark, cruel, and remorseless, and failure means a heavy price.
BradytheJust chapter 34 . 3/10/2017
Alright, firstly...
I love the title drops "Lost all of their blue and are now a murky gray" and "I bend the rules and make things happen, I don't break them."

So Brook could be a papa? Well, that does explain a lot... I do like the silver hair bit... ever since playing "The Witcher" I've liked silver hair :)

You had amazing lines as always "It isn't a stone foundation" "Hung for sheep, hung for a cow" They always make your work a joy to read! :D

Keep on going, please don't leave me hanging!
WaterBudget chapter 23 . 3/5/2017
Rayne's control of his abilities is growing! Thanks to Cray motivating him with her trust. I love how he drops the threat level of their pursuers so dramatically-colliding with trees, horses running amok. Anyway, I should look into writing love interests who start out supportive of each other because as you've shown me, it's adorable.

Also, Rayne has a rather unromantic take on promises. Though the "In any case, she hadn't demanded a pledge of his faithfulness" was funny. Regardless, the hug and the sharing of their emotions show how much they trust one another. No need for pledges.

Your writing is as solid as ever. Just a few small things:

Tense change - "Men are running around" should be "Men were running around"?

"wrapped the rest in the by now dried out blanket" - had to read this a couple of times. Maybe needs a hyphen or editing? (wrapped the rest in the now dry blanket?)

A minor continuity issue - What happened to whoever was hammering at the door earlier? Did they back off because of the darkness?
WaterBudget chapter 22 . 3/3/2017
I was a bit worried about how far you would take the "hurt" part of the hurt/comfort, but I think Cray and Rayne are going to be okay. You portray their actions-that awkwardness-as they try for normalcy in a realistic way. They're not going to be happy or lovey-dovey after all that.

Rayne is especially critical of himself, though the hair-cut makes me feel as if he's creating a new self. Symbolic and practical! Even better: Rayne's bold and manly gestures at the end. His reassurance that he doesn't link Cray's new resemblance to his trauma, that he only has good memories with her, is so romantic. They're too darn cute, these two!

A slow, reflective chapter but appropriate after the intensity of the last few chapters.
BradytheJust chapter 33 . 3/2/2017
Well, I will be reading "Rules to Break You" soon, because Eryk and Brook are fast becoming two very likable characters, and Brook's powers are interesting.

The fight scene was well done, much shorter than I would have liked it, but when you have a mage on your side most fights are short, so I can understand it.

"Our relationship- if it even exists- is flimsier than a dream" Oh gosh that was beautiful! :) Perfectly summons up the Crayne relationship! Your word choice and imagery were perfect as always, and I enjoyed reading this chapter, it was certainly worth the wait!
E.M. Grinstead chapter 33 . 2/27/2017
I love the story! Please keep going!
BradytheJust chapter 32 . 2/11/2017
Action scene! :D

The start of the battle was done very well, and you've shown Eryk to be a capable warrior. I could see the action in my mind's eye, which is always good for a fight scene, and you ended the battle very well on that cliffhanger.

Your word choice was excellent as always and I did enjoy the comparison of Cray as a kitten protecting Rayne. That was a cute image!

Keep it up my friend, I can't wait to see the battle continue!
BradytheJust chapter 31 . 1/29/2017
Alright, I'll never be able to hug my dog again... ugh!
"Unassuming names go with unassuming faces." Great quote!

The action flowed at a good pace, and I was panicking and jumping along with Rayne and Cray, hoping the dogs wouldn't catch them. You did a great job showing Cray's fear of the dogs (although a kick that can break a dog's neck... wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that) and you did a good job with the tension of the scene.

Now who are these two unassuming guys? And what powers do they wield?
I eagerly await more my friend! :D
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