|Reviews for Gvera Cross Book 1|
| thejashorrious chapter 16 . 6/28
| Bob Story Builder chapter 2 . 1/27/2016
You need to fix your dialogue structure. Every speaker has his or her own paragraph when speaking. For example:
He said, "Go away!"
"I can't because I love you!" replied the girl sobbing.
"Damnit, I don't want to see you get hurt," growled the boy.
"I won't! You have to trust me. I trust you why don't you trust me?"
"Because it'll be my fault if you get hurt."
So there you go. And there is the internet for further help in this and other elements of story crafting.
| Bob Story Builder chapter 1 . 1/27/2016
A good start and there are some spelling errors but I think story has promise.