|Reviews for And Life Goes On|
| solacing chapter 1 . 8/14/2015
I really felt for the main character of this story. I think you portrayed his despair wonderfully. I really enjoyed some of your lines, too, such as "Autumn is the time to not lie alone, and it's winter now."
On that, there were a few grammatical errors, such as missing commas and apostrophes, which I actually highlighted in the quote I made above. xD Also, some of the dialogue felt a little flat, but other than that, it was a really nice story. You wrote it very well.
| mononym chapter 1 . 8/12/2015
This story is quite short, but the space is used efficiently. In that sense, I liked the juxtaposition of past and present, since shifting between the two allowed you to flesh out why the main character is where he is.
I thought that the emphasis on his multiple attempts at suicide were reflective of just how much he missed Marissa. Choosing not to reveal Marissa's name until later, and referring to her only as "she" or "her" (since the main character obviously knows who he is talking about, even if the reader doesn't) was also a nice touch. We don't get her name or a description of her physical appearance until after reading about his failed suicide attempts.
That said, I didn't find the reasoning for why the suicide attempts failed that convincing. Subtly self-injuring is vastly different from trying to, well, bleed yourself out. You can't really "nick" an artery. I've never heard of any mother putting a chip in their suicidal son to keep them from jaywalking, either. (Then again, I feel like the overall point was that maybe he wasn't supposed to die. Maybe it was divine intervention, and he was meant to "go" when Marissa wanted him to.) There were also some awkward or run-on sentences that disrupted the enjoyability of the piece.
| Jalux chapter 1 . 8/8/2015
Yeah this was definitely a dark read with a bit of hope at the end since they reunite in another life. Still the most impactful aspect for me was the repetition of him trying to kill himself, it really shows what Lodi g her ha scone to him and how meaningless he feels his life is. You also feel terrible for the mother for example who tries to help him and maybe steer him towards finding something else to live for. Sadly that brief hope you get is dashed at the end but it was a powerful story and the bittersweet ending made it feel realistic if nothing else, some wounds never heal. Good read!
| Ventracere chapter 1 . 8/6/2015
This is a sadder piece than I would have thought, but I think you did a good job with the prompt! There are a couple places where I think you need to switch up with words a bit? You tend to use "lying, and lied" a lot. I don't know if that was completely intentional, but it does get a bit repetitive. Something else that I did like was the constant bouncing between past and present because it gives us a semblence of time without you stating it explicit. Sometimes it gets a bit blurred, but stylistically, the italics do help with the separation a bit. You did a good job on a touchy topic though. You didn't over emphasize Brandon's problem or brush over the fact that he was carving into his own skin.
Thanks for the read!
| alltheeagles chapter 1 . 8/6/2015
I like the the plot. It’s very clear what happened even if the events are not presented in chronological order. It’s pretty poignant to me except for the ending which was just a touch too melodramatic but never mind, happy endings are always good.
Usually I find your straightforward style a little monotonous but I think it works for this piece. Describing all the ways he tried to kill himself in that matter-of-fact way somehow makes it even more disturbing than taking the subtle approach.