Reviews for Aleksandr |
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![]() ![]() ![]() So Clemency in the supernatural world is what is google is to us humans but with a whole different purpose... And that power rests on a five year old girl. interesting. I know it's weird but it took me a while to wrap my head around it. LOL. Now that Alek's motive to get Darla/Clemency, what's Gabriel's? Now that they're scheming, they need to come up with a believable defense just in case for Peter, because when it all goes the drain and poor Peter gets caught – Well, sorry Peter, but it was nice knowing you! J/K. But honestly I think that Darla can evade the trio if she really wanted to judging from the strong evidence in a Hollywood film starring kids. ;) |
![]() ![]() I was about to yell at you about what the hell clemency is :D Im really liking this story. kudos |
![]() ![]() I may be dying. Your first chapter made me chuckle and I wanted to leave a review and wondered if you're still on this and realised you published it this year XD XD XD I like it. "Any minute now" Seriously the description of the crying woman XD XD XD |
![]() ![]() ![]() This brings up more questions I want the answers to: like what Gabriel's motive is, why can't Peter see Gabriel, what Gabriel is trying to amend (I assume he was involved in Alek's death/being trapped in Limbo?) and why does Alek want to be resurrected instead of moving on. Although, at least now I know what Clemency is! (I had thought it was a person, like Peter did.) I already like Darla. I can tell she's going to be entertaining. Also, you wrote "He advert his eyes..." but I think you meant "He averts his eyes..." |
![]() ![]() ![]() - ["This is crazy," I insist on deaf ears, proving that neither the tenth time is a charm] Another line I must highlight that made me laugh. - Huh, wonder why he takes so much offense to being called crazy himself. - Gabriel just being so nonplussed around Alek makes his character so much better. XD - I am wondering why all the reluctance myself now, I feel like there’s something Alek is trying to avoid given his insistence that this is just crazy and nothing more. - [The White Diner doesn't disappoint. It's decked in mint and steel with scuffmarks littering the pink and white linoleum floor, and even has pink dotting the walls to even out the eyesore; the less said about the many pictures of people wearing cowboy hats the better. Even Gabriel seems to need a blink or five to sooth his eyes.] Another thing I just want to highlight here description wise, really love it for picture it painted and like how you used it to help characterize Alek & Gabriel more with their reactions to it. - ["Smart choice," the waiter comments in discrepancy wit his job;] I think maybe a typo here and wanted to put with? - Alright, stopped slowing down and started blazing through because I couldn’t hold myself back to remain in review mode and just wanted to read. I’m really enjoying this whole introduction and again, the pacing here in Act I so far feels nice. I like the sense of progress with each chapter so far and I love Gabriel as Alek’s foil, the two of them play off of one another really well. Also, huh, now that clemency is really on the table and Alek’s reaction to it, I am really interested in this whole setup and curious why Gabriel is going through all this trouble. Also, the entire joke about the whole walk into a bar thing cracked me up. XD I still love this and liking the touch that even if found a witch, need a psychic to communicate between the two for them. Or things like being careful here so she doesn’t exorcise them and so forth. This remains a treat to read! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Another great (and wonderfully worded) chapter. I enjoyed how Alek squeezed through cracks in space and had a one-sided conversation with a cow, that was fun to read. "And I am so not amused that I can literally feel my funny bone shattering to pieces" was a great quote. Keep it up! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Easily one of the best chapters. Everything flows seamlessly, from setting, dialogue, to plot. I feel you've spoilt us with knowledge here which leaves you thinking "Ooooh! Aaaaah! This is going to be so good!" I really read the whole thing with pure enjoyment and intrigue. The story behind Alek and Gabriel is itching at me, also I love the way Alek wants to be "alive" it was very well described. You really are a talented writer with an interesting story to tell. I must know everything that happens so expect me to bug you until this ends! I can be very annoying... It's really your own fault though... P.S. What on earth is cauliflower rice?! (heaves... yuck?) |
![]() ![]() ![]() This feels like a turning point for the story and now Alek is going to start seriously working towards clemency. Peter not being able to see Gabe makes for some funny moments and it was interesting to get a taste of what Alek can do, even it it was just shorting a radio. I feel obligated to point out that Alek could have used the car ride to explain a little to Peter. |
![]() ![]() ![]() That's an interesting twist. I don't imagine a four year old will be able to help them until she's older, so much for trying to hurry. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well, I wasn't expecting the witch to only be four! But is she the only one? Because I can't see a little kid being able to put up the magical barrier on the door from earlier. Also, that road trip. :D |
![]() ![]() ![]() This story is amazing! I love your writing style, the characters, and especially the humour. Fav line: ''Do something. Don't be the old guy staring at small children''. Can't wait to read on. Thanks for sharing! |
![]() ![]() ![]() That's awesome. So, the psychic is Alia, from Dune. I'm just kidding. This is an excellent chapter. I loved the build up at the end as we all discover the psychic is not some typical sixty year old crackpot draped in the hippie circus garb and reeking of way too much cheap perfume. It's a fun little twist and I am looking forward to seeing where this new development will lead. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well she is witch. If I was her, I'd change my appearance as well to escape from a couple of reapers. The important question is now, how do we kidnap a four year old girl without triggering an Amber alert? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I am no longer the calm waters of an inland lake...Best line ever Another great chapter, and I loved the main character (attempting) to give Peter a good cover story, it pays to listen I guess! :) Keep it up and I can't wait for more! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh dear! That's quite a problem isn't it. Well, at least he tried right? I sense a bad row coming on... Poor Alek! I really enjoyed this. I could picture the whole "ride" over, the café scene and especially the ending which was hilarious! You really under sell yourself. This was great. The only thing I'd suggest is adding in line breaks when a scene ends. Otherwise, keep it going! And thanks for sharing. |