Reviews for January 32nd
Vicki Lawson chapter 12 . 1/29/2017
Glad they've got someone else who knows what's going on. More chapters please!
eightysixzero chapter 11 . 9/1/2016
I have been reading this story for the last month a chapter every other night. I enjoyed reading this story and I am curious tp see what happens next. This storty reminds me of some old books i've read when I was in high school. Ig this were a book I would read every chapter. May you vontine to stay creative and may God bless you.
Vicki Lawson chapter 11 . 8/12/2016
Keep the chapters coming please!
eightysixzero chapter 1 . 8/10/2016
This story is exactly about me. You have been watching me haven't you? My name is not Tristen. It's Marco. I haven't left my house since february. Its been six months sonce I've gone to town and I hate my life. People are trying to bury me alive!
lunarchroniclesandcockatiels chapter 11 . 8/9/2016
really, really goo!d!
Vicki Lawson chapter 10 . 4/9/2016
Finally you have uploaded another chapter! I've been waiting quite a few months for you to write one, but now you finally have and I understand that college comes first. Keep up the great work in both college and January 32nd!
lunarchroniclesandcockatiels chapter 10 . 4/8/2016
Vicki Lawson chapter 9 . 12/31/2015
My favorite way to end 2015, but begin 2016: reading a new chapter of your story! I like how it's going and thanks for correcting the paragraph mistake. Your story is well written and intriguing. Please start the year off with more chapters.
Guest chapter 8 . 12/26/2015
Could you lay out the story in paragraphs? It's hard to follow continuous writing like this .. I lose my place easily :)
Vicki Lawson chapter 8 . 12/27/2015
Good chapter, but can I make a helpful suggestion? It's hard to read when this chapter isn't separated into paragraphs. Next time you should separate them into paragraphs.
Vicki Lawson chapter 7 . 12/24/2015
Finally you have written another chapter. Took you long enough and just in time for the holidays!
lunarchroniclesandcockatiels chapter 7 . 12/21/2015
Vicki Lawson chapter 6 . 11/22/2015
Finally you have written another chapter! Great to hear that you're going to college and writing more chapters for this story at the same time.
Daniel Affaro chapter 3 . 10/7/2015
I'm really liking the story so far and am really interested to see where it is going. The mystery is set up nicely, without giving too much away too early on.

I really like the main character. Tristan is very relatable and I find it very easy to put myself into his shoes. I often find myself wondering about something in the story, only to have him do the same a paragraph or so later. That's a sign of a well written character.

The other characters, as of this third chapter, haven't been explored much but I can see that changing in the future. I'm especially looking forward to finding out more about Steven.

The story is very streamlined and to the point, and I like that. There's not a lot of unnecessary waffle that there can sometimes be in Mystery stories.

However I would say that you need to proof read a bit more. There have been a few instances of words being shortened or autocorrected wrong, such as one sentence being written with "we" instead of "were".

There were also a few instances of a change in tense that I felt seemed out of place. "Tristan wasn't a big fan of peas, though Italian food is some of his all time favourite food." It felt slightly jarring to read, to have the tense change from past to present midway through the sentence.

Another thing I found is that you're very fond of the phrase "and such". You use it quite a lot, sometimes in quick succession and within the same paragraph. I'd advise looking up some synonyms for the phrase or trying to figure out a few different ways of expressing the same thing.

All in all, I'm just nitpicking at the end of the day, and all of that could be rectified by giving the chapter a quick proof read once or twice. I'd really love to see those things improve, because aside from those few small issues, this has been a pleasure to read and I can't wait to delve even deeper into it.
lunarchroniclesandcockatiels chapter 5 . 9/13/2015
so good!
21 | Page 1 2 Next »