|Reviews for The Pull|
| Polished Gem chapter 11 . 6/8/2020
I really liked this installment. That was an interest add on about Prince. It almost seems as though he's still interested in Natalie. It's one thing to apologize for the past, but I can definitely see why she was uncomfortable. I'm sure she didn't want to get into a fight with Yvette. I wonder if Prince had a couple of drinks beforehand...or he wanted to make Yvette jealous? Because he had to know that Yvette would see them dancing, if they had. Or is he happy to break that relationship off because he wants Natalie back?
And Alex finally knows that she doesn't have a boyfriend. Wow, was he ever pushing hard for information. Maybe a little too hard. And the funny thing is, he doesn't want her to interfere in his private matters, yet he acts that way. And Alex's frustration at the house is hilarious! He completely forgot to show her where the bathroom was.
Please update soon! I'm curious what happens next! Btw...I added some corrections below. I didn't mention all the punctuation issues, though...too much typing. Hahaha.
Even his friend(,) Shane, (you missed a comma)
what did he mean (by) anytime
He always had (a) smile
starting at me from the kitchen...(staring)
standing there sucking in air trough my...(through)
where did he (get) the notion that I had a boyfriend anyway
toward Chris. He (had) followed me outside
weirded out...not weird-ed
What did she take me for(?) (A) fool?
I didn't expect her to (; or -) which meant she didn't
She didn't want me(,) or anyone else(,) to fuck it... (punctuation..there were other spots with punctuation issues that I didn't mention)
And if my assumption was right(,) then Prince
"Where are you going(? T)his isn't the way to my house...
"Come watch the movie with us! It's hilarious! (Two separate sentences)
their eyebrows. My two brothers (threw) me questioning...(should technically be two separate sentences...)
and (sniffles) sounding (from) her nose
You're the only girl in my life. You know that.
my exchange with Corina and (looked) a bit uncomfortable in the
Way to go, bro(. S)he's cute.
finding yourself a girlfriend to spent time with (spend)
Come on! If you like the girl, go for it!
looked over at Dean, wandering what he was thinking (wondering)
Even Dean approves; and that's saying a lot
| Polished Gem chapter 10 . 5/31/2020
Good installment. The book is really getting interesting now. If you update any of the stories, I hope you update this one first.
I wonder when Alex will finally realize that she doesn't have a boyfriend.
| Polished Gem chapter 9 . 5/25/2020
Interesting turn of events. Who is going to be at the party? I'll definitely be waiting for the next chapter.
I caught three errors inside. My brain's kind of frazzled right now, so I don't remember what they are. One was a comma...and I believe two of them were odd word-choice that don't make sense...? Oh, one was the word purse! Look for the word purse and change it to something more appropriate. Sorry. I didn't sleep well last night and I just got my 2 kids to sleep before I sat down to read. :)
| Polished Gem chapter 8 . 5/21/2020
Impeccable. I didn’t notice anything that needed fixing grammatically. I’m curious how this chapter drives along the plot line. I was hoping to see more of his current thoughts and opinions on Natalie...I am curious who was in the corner of the restaurant, though.
| Polished Gem chapter 7 . 5/17/2020
Hahaha! OMG! She really does have a problem keeping her mouth shut. I expected her to tell Wes in private, not in front of Dick and Grant. When she did, I just laughed out loud because it was really out there and unexpected. I just cannot even imagine. Poor Wes, he really got embarrassed. Hopefully he’ll be able to forgive her eventually.
As for Saunders, we didn’t get his perspective this time. It’s clear that Natalie is thinking about him more than is normal, which is typically the beginning signs of attraction, but she hasn’t admitted to herself that she wants anything more than friendship yet. I’m curious to know what his thoughts are...
How often do you typically update? I saw that this story had reviews up to Chapter 20 before. So you took it down because you’re fixing it up? If it’s already written and just needs some fixes, it shouldn’t take too long to update, right?
| Polished Gem chapter 6 . 5/11/2020
Hmmm...I wonder if Natalie will tell Wes about what happened between Grant and Jane at the house. It would be better if he knew so he doesn't end up getting hurt if he ends up chasing her. Because to her, everything's a game.
I like the way you built up the discomfort and turmoil up to the apology. I'm curious to know what happens next. You're good at building a story slowly and adding the details that make it seem more realistic.
'a part of me always wandered about my biological' (wondered)
he agreed to be to take care of Corina at home... (I would just omit the to be)
I should have let her vent for herself (fend)
Beautifully done. I've got your story on alert, so I'll wait for the next chapter. :)
| Mouse77 chapter 6 . 5/11/2020
Hey I recently started reading your story and it’s really good!
| Polished Gem chapter 5 . 5/11/2020
How often do you update? I’m curious what happens next. There were a few grammar mistakes but nothing overbearing. I’ve enjoyed what I have read so far.
| Polished Gem chapter 1 . 5/10/2020
I like the conversational tone you narrate in. It keeps my attention and keeps my interest. I noticed one error of tense back in the chapter but everyone has something—myself works included. Overall, it was a decently impressive first chapter. I think I’ll read more.
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/9/2020
Interesting so far. Excited to read the rest
| dv36muskan chapter 20 . 2/12/2018
I have really loved your story so far. Eager to read more!
| PhilipTheCinnamonRoll chapter 20 . 12/31/2017
Wow. Ok so this was very cliche. But it was written out in such an amazing way that I did not mind. Nice job, eagerly awaiting more.
| J chapter 20 . 2/2/2017
UPDATE UGH THIS CLIFFHANGER
| effervial chapter 20 . 2/2/2017
You're a really good writer! The storyline is cliche, but you made the characters likable and the relationship development so natural that I don't mind at all that it's cliche. I really hope you keep going until the story is finished because honestly it's really good!
There are some grammatical errors and a couple of "wander" when it should've been "wonder" but they're pretty minor so it doesn't bother me that much. Either way, looking forward to the next chapter!
| hannahward chapter 20 . 1/30/2017
Great to see an update. Alex can still be frustrating and I hope they work things out soon :)