Hmmm...it was good to see some interaction between Natalie and Alex's family and friends. I wish I'd seen a little more interaction between Alex and Natalie at the movie night. Last I heard he was berating himself for inviting her inside from his perspective, and he didn't say anything to her on the car ride home. It leaves me super curious as to what changed in him because he was acting super different at school the next day-like they were friends. What specific moments caused the change?
I love the interaction between Natalie and Alex in this chapter. It's semi-comfortable yet nervous...a bit a sexual tension going on there.
So I have a theory...I'm not sure if I'm correct, but I'm going to put it out there. I'm assuming that the previous issue between Jane and Grant is going to become a problem at the formal dinner. I'm thinking that Alex is going to notice how gorgeous Natalie looks in a formal dress and they'll start talking more at the table, but then Grant is going to either get mad at Natalie at the dinner and is going to start shooting his typical insults. Alex is going to get pissed off at him because of his temper issues and is going to start an argument in defense of Natalie. Or! Grant and Jane are going to start flirting at the dinner, to which Natalie will say something in defense of Wes because she tends to run her mouth, to which a fight will ensue and Alex will take Natalie's side...I'm just waiting to see if I'm correct...
Also, I'm waiting to see Wes's reaction if he finds Alex waiting around Natalie's locker sometime...juicy juicy.
I think we accidentally missed a spot...oops ;) His words made calmed my nerves... (gotta remove the made. I can do another edit if you want me to.)

I really liked this installment. That was an interest add on about Prince. It almost seems as though he's still interested in Natalie. It's one thing to apologize for the past, but I can definitely see why she was uncomfortable. I'm sure she didn't want to get into a fight with Yvette. I wonder if Prince had a couple of drinks beforehand...or he wanted to make Yvette jealous? Because he had to know that Yvette would see them dancing, if they had. Or is he happy to break that relationship off because he wants Natalie back?
And Alex finally knows that she doesn't have a boyfriend. Wow, was he ever pushing hard for information. Maybe a little too hard. And the funny thing is, he doesn't want her to interfere in his private matters, yet he acts that way. And Alex's frustration at the house is hilarious! He completely forgot to show her where the bathroom was.
Please update soon! I'm curious what happens next! Btw...I added some corrections below. I didn't mention all the punctuation issues, though...too much typing. Hahaha.
Even his friend(,) Shane, (you missed a comma)
what did he mean (by) anytime
He always had (a) smile
starting at me from the kitchen...(staring)
standing there sucking in air trough my...(through)
where did he (get) the notion that I had a boyfriend anyway
toward Chris. He (had) followed me outside
weirded out...not weird-ed
What did she take me for(?) (A) fool?
I didn't expect her to (; or -) which meant she didn't
She didn't want me(,) or anyone else(,) to fuck it... (punctuation..there were other spots with punctuation issues that I didn't mention)
And if my assumption was right(,) then Prince
"Where are you going(? T)his isn't the way to my house...
"Come watch the movie with us! It's hilarious! (Two separate sentences)
their eyebrows. My two brothers (threw) me questioning...(should technically be two separate sentences...)
and (sniffles) sounding (from) her nose
You're the only girl in my life. You know that.
my exchange with Corina and (looked) a bit uncomfortable in the
Way to go, bro(. S)he's cute.
finding yourself a girlfriend to spent time with (spend)
Come on! If you like the girl, go for it!
looked over at Dean, wandering what he was thinking (wondering)
Even Dean approves; and that's saying a lot

Good installment. The book is really getting interesting now. If you update any of the stories, I hope you update this one first.

I wonder when Alex will finally realize that she doesn't have a boyfriend.

Interesting turn of events. Who is going to be at the party? I'll definitely be waiting for the next chapter.

I caught three errors inside. My brain's kind of frazzled right now, so I don't remember what they are. One was a comma...and I believe two of them were odd word-choice that don't make sense...? Oh, one was the word purse! Look for the word purse and change it to something more appropriate. Sorry. I didn't sleep well last night and I just got my 2 kids to sleep before I sat down to read. :)

Ttyl

Becca

Impeccable. I didn’t notice anything that needed fixing grammatically. I’m curious how this chapter drives along the plot line. I was hoping to see more of his current thoughts and opinions on Natalie...I am curious who was in the corner of the restaurant, though.

Hahaha! OMG! She really does have a problem keeping her mouth shut. I expected her to tell Wes in private, not in front of Dick and Grant. When she did, I just laughed out loud because it was really out there and unexpected. I just cannot even imagine. Poor Wes, he really got embarrassed. Hopefully he’ll be able to forgive her eventually.

As for Saunders, we didn’t get his perspective this time. It’s clear that Natalie is thinking about him more than is normal, which is typically the beginning signs of attraction, but she hasn’t admitted to herself that she wants anything more than friendship yet. I’m curious to know what his thoughts are...

How often do you typically update? I saw that this story had reviews up to Chapter 20 before. So you took it down because you’re fixing it up? If it’s already written and just needs some fixes, it shouldn’t take too long to update, right?

Hmmm...I wonder if Natalie will tell Wes about what happened between Grant and Jane at the house. It would be better if he knew so he doesn't end up getting hurt if he ends up chasing her. Because to her, everything's a game.
I like the way you built up the discomfort and turmoil up to the apology. I'm curious to know what happens next. You're good at building a story slowly and adding the details that make it seem more realistic.

'a part of me always wandered about my biological' (wondered)
he agreed to be to take care of Corina at home... (I would just omit the to be)
I should have let her vent for herself (fend)

Beautifully done. I've got your story on alert, so I'll wait for the next chapter. :)

Hey I recently started reading your story and it’s really good!

How often do you update? I’m curious what happens next. There were a few grammar mistakes but nothing overbearing. I’ve enjoyed what I have read so far.

I like the conversational tone you narrate in. It keeps my attention and keeps my interest. I noticed one error of tense back in the chapter but everyone has something—myself works included. Overall, it was a decently impressive first chapter. I think I’ll read more.
-Becca

Interesting so far. Excited to read the rest

I have really loved your story so far. Eager to read more!

Wow. Ok so this was very cliche. But it was written out in such an amazing way that I did not mind. Nice job, eagerly awaiting more.

UPDATE UGH THIS CLIFFHANGER

You're a really good writer! The storyline is cliche, but you made the characters likable and the relationship development so natural that I don't mind at all that it's cliche. I really hope you keep going until the story is finished because honestly it's really good!

There are some grammatical errors and a couple of "wander" when it should've been "wonder" but they're pretty minor so it doesn't bother me that much. Either way, looking forward to the next chapter!