Reviews for The 'FUN' in Funeral
emptinessandnone chapter 2 . 8/8/2019
Dead bodies, soil, and a reaper being afraid of dogs. This chapter is rife with material for gags, haha.

I understand that this is an old written work of yours from four years ago, but I think some of the jokes would've benefitted from 'showing' rather than 'telling'. Seeing your most recent work however, I can say without a doubt that you have a good grasp of it now. I can only hope to attain the level of writing skill you have now.

The 'soil' gag was mostly Lara telling us about what she heard and/or saw, but Grim being afraid of dogs, him waving his scythe like it was some newspaper he could shoo away Reginald with, and the comedic timing of the singer and pianist with their song choices made me grin like an idiot. It's small moments like these that I really appreciate. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy full-on gags, but having funny moments sprinkled onto normal (or in this case tragic) occasions can be just as, if not, funnier than an intricately woven joke.
emptinessandnone chapter 1 . 8/8/2019
In death, people get a complete makeover; both within their coffins and on their entry into the afterlife. The expression on Ms. Greave's face at that moment was fun to imagine!

And I think we can all relate to Greave's feelings about dying the way she did. I am sure most of us would prefer to die in either a normal fashion or even a glorious one, but not an embarrassing death. To think that your life would end with you fresh out of the shower and having your head bashed onto a bath tub is both mundane and out of the ordinary. There's nothing special about dying in the shower, but one can argue that it's what makes it different from a normal death. You've basically lost your life doing a daily routine.

And of course, Greave's characterization is wonderful. We're introduced to her as this cold, unfeeling woman who couldn't care less about what's happening in her life, but once she loses it, she starts to value the way she could've died. The reaper's comment about her valuing the state of her dead body pretty much summed it up too. We may not care about most things anymore, but we still carry respect for ourselves that we care about what happens to us in the end. I can't fully explain it, but that's how I interpreted her character exposition.

A good chapter overall!
The Warrior Poet chapter 4 . 9/4/2018
A nice little twist at the end as Grim is given a second chance at life.

This little story was simply wonderful. I loved its warmth and heart, especially given the subject matter. Death is such a complex thing to explore, and I think you have done it justice despite its weight. To look at heavy things with a light point of view can be challenging, but I think that you nailed it.

The story had style and substance, and did not overstay its welcome. In short, this is just a wonderfully trim piece of writing and I enjoyed every second of it.
The Warrior Poet chapter 3 . 9/4/2018
A nice little exploration of the meaning of life.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and in this case it is the absence of life that has caused Lara to look at the meaning of the thing with a more charitable heart and no small portion of regret for what has been missed. It is nice to see how dynamic Lara's character has been in this story so far. The acerbic, somewhat bitter woman from the first chapter has benefited somewhat from her untimely death.

Grim has served as a patient guide in these post-mortem wanderings.
The Warrior Poet chapter 2 . 9/4/2018
“My heart will go on” is perhaps the most perfectly miserable song of all time, and thus the perfect choice for this story.

This chapter does a great job of illustrating how depressing, bland, and needless funerals can be. Each paragraph puts an even finer point on this truth, and I have to agree with Lara’s less-than-enthusiastic opinion of the proceedings. I can’t imagine a more horrifying experience for an introvert like her to have to sit through.

A little more heart injected here in the form of Reg the dog and a bit of background on Lara’s childhood. I especially liked the image of her hiding behind the curtains, and how Lara’s mother was proud of her...so many feels!
The Warrior Poet chapter 1 . 9/4/2018
“After all, the momentous effort required to care can take its toll over time on even the most giving of hearts.”

“But, something about warm water parading on my head makes me analyse the plight of existence with dire sentiment and ridicule”

Both of these lines are so wonderfully Dickensian, they really stick out as superb examples of your prose. Honestly, I am really astounded at just how much you are able to tell us about the character of Miss Greaves in just a few short paragraphs...I state my envy.

This first chapter captures my heart on many levels. First, it’s a dark comedy. Dark comedies are hard to pull off, they are either too dark or too comedic, but you have struck a great balance here. Miss Greaves’ death, ghastly as it was, actually had me chuckling a bit because of its absurdity. And, you manage to inject a bit of heart at the end as well when Miss Greaves finds that many of her personal insecurities based around her physical appearance have been erased in the embrace of death.

Speaking of Death...his character had plenty to love about it as well. I like his shrugging indifference and apparent affability.

If you couldn’t tell, I really enjoyed this and can’t wait to read more!
davidwburns chapter 2 . 8/23/2018
You have a terrific sense of humor. Have you considered exploring Grim more in his own story? Great character.
davidwburns chapter 1 . 8/22/2018
Zany's language is rich laden although sometimes a little out of place. The words do not always fit the intention, but it comes across clearly enough.

The death description is very detailed which gives us a slow-motion feel. No detail is spared. Visceral. Death's lack of menace and his pleasant manner subverts my expectations which creates some comedy.

This writer gets down deep into the moment at the right time. Good stuff.
Ckh chapter 4 . 6/20/2018
So long and thanks for all the fish. Its been a wild ride. All the things within the story have wrapped up. Lara's story is done. Its over. What do you say when a story is finished? I don't know. You wanted to add something beautiful to the darkest part of life, you done it. I don't think we can truly stand tall in the face of death but we can at least embrace it for what is it, an end to a meaningful end defined by only us alone. A spectacular finish that deserves congratulations and more congratulations.

"Its all very good"
Ckh chapter 3 . 6/20/2018
Honestly this is the best chapter to do a titledrop. Ba dum tss.

Again, you manage to sprinkle in so many fantastic lines, some of which I missed during my first initial viewing. Its a testament to your writing ability how the dynamic between Grim and Lara appears so seamless, despite them only having met hours before. You even did the reference an old joke thing when Grim tries to deflect Lara's question by blaming it on the time axis.

I like how you use the boat scene to set things up for the ending. Lara's feelings about life and death are mostly resolved and it really feels like we are heading straight towards the ending.

Its all very good (counter: 2) and Lara, Lara is still best girl (Shes the only girl but we don't talk it).
Ckh chapter 2 . 6/20/2018
Lara's characterization continues smoothly from the previous chapter. Her reactions to her own funeral were perfectly laced with good hearted humour - I mean, every line works, from Lara's comment on how she knows it her funeral and her jab at cheap plants. They add a personal touch to the narrative and to be honest I could have easily glossed through some of these lines during my first read. (which I did) That was a mistake.

Writing continues to be crazy fluid. You have little notes that help connect each scene to the other, like the man in the suit talking about soil before Grim brings it up, making the story feel organic. I like the touching scenes in this chapter - Lara's mom sitting next to young Lara, Lara reflecting that her dad wasn't a bad father after all, only to cry out to him - they feel bittersweet and it benefits the theme of moving on.

They were a lot of things that worked out really well for this chapter, more than I could possibly list down, making this re-read this time around still feel pleasant.
Ckh chapter 1 . 6/20/2018
The strength of first person writing is that you can get into the head space of your protagonist without doing much and I have to say, you really capitalized on that strength. Immediately, Lara's personality just jumps to me. She is a self deprecating middle aged worker with a bit of a sarcastic streak and she is so darn likable that you end up blitzing through the whole chapter anyways.

It definitely helps that writing itself is so fluid. Sentences pass by one another almost effortlessly and each individual scene stands on its own. There was never a dull moment in this chapter and (I know lots of people have commented on it) you even managed to make death by tripping tense and interesting. How the hell do you do that? I don't care if future commentators comment the same thing. Do it. Question it. How did the hell did you make a boring scene like tripping in the bathroom work? That's black magic if I know black magic.

Moving on from pure sorcery, I rather liked Grim's introduction. The dialogue exchange is natural, Grim feels like a emphatic character and Lara is given ample time to react to her death. Its all very good and I will repeat that line for as long as I want to. A magnificent opening that gets invested in the story right from the get go.
BradytheJust chapter 4 . 8/11/2016
Bouncy castles! _

The writing was superb and wonderful as always! Having Lara become a reaper was wonderful and certainly unexpected but it was great, and ended with a hug! Hugs heal everything :)

This was a wonderful story and the characterization was spot on, everything was perfect! :D

You did add a new perspective on death and the afterlife and the experience was wonderful.
Thanks for recommending this story!
BradytheJust chapter 3 . 8/11/2016
Yep one thing about death... falls don't hurt!

I also didn't point this out last chapter, but I love how only animals can 'see' Lara after she's dead. As a knowledgeable person about death, ghosts, and time travel (Yeah I'm a nerd) it fits in with popular myths.

"My inner child unleashing itself from the chains that had been lashed to it" Such perfectly worded... well words! :D I could see Lara squealing and jumping when she saw the carnival, and it was fun to see a woman riding rides in my mind's eye!

Having her and Grim dance on a boat was perfectly written and interesting, now I want to dance with a girl on a boat! Wonderful as always and I can't wait to see where it ends!
BradytheJust chapter 2 . 8/11/2016
Awww Reginald...
He is now my favorite _

I really feel bad for Lara :'( If you go to your own funeral, you should be treated to a scene of wonderfulness! She doesn't deserve that type of funeral with two people tapping away on their phones no less! Argh, it makes me mad!

Still, I like how you described everything and you have a real talent for descriptions and emotions. I think Lara is a great person so why does she get such a lackluster funeral. Although I guess that's the point of the story *goes to hug Lara anyway*
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