Reviews for Fur and Silver |
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![]() ![]() ![]() The smell of flowers lingers ever on. This was a sweet way to wrap up the whole story and provide a peaceful, love-filled aftermath after the bloodshed. I liked the idea of a man inside the animals normally viewed as monsters and usually killed if a person like Berwyn is not there to see deeper then the fur! You did a good job showing that with enough action thrown in to give it a good plot. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I am happy the werewolf has found his home and acceptance. Berwyn had to leave but I hope his next job will be as grand as this one! For an elf, I loved him. As for the final epic battle, I loved the action. The fight was filled with plenty of swords and sorcery to spill blood and satisfy me! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Towards the scent of flowers. I like how the werewolf's mind is drawn to them as the portrayal of his woman. Light and delicate but able to withstand being picked nonetheless. Fabulous action. The hunter and his friend entered the castle and made for the dungeons. Julia's cruel smile threw out a scary side of her personality in her conversation with Necro! |
![]() ![]() ![]() The bears were a wonderful way to introduce action. It seems Sion loses control in battle. He went on a killing spree! Berwyn would not kill an elf and I would not either, if I were one. That provided good conflict for him later one at the ending of the chapter. Why indeed is he trying to save the life of one monster if he would kill another? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Sion. I like the name. He has a haunted past but a sympathetic character. As for Berwyn, it would be like an elf to eat bread and herbs for eternity even when roasted meat is readily available. And now we have hints of Sion's past before he became half-animal! I am looking forward to seeing where this goes! You have done a good job portraying Sion's confused mind as it warps between human and wolf; his stuttering all but proves it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nice flashback chapter. You flung us right into the action. I loved the evil sorcerer and his ghouls, and I am looking forward to seeing how and where the werewolf and the hunter will come into this! Julia has to do something before her guardsmen are executed one by one! |
![]() ![]() ![]() The hunter out to slay the beast who is no more a man trapped in a body he struggles to control. I was afraid for the poor werewolf at the scent of the hunter's bloodlust. Poor thing was so pitiful! I am glad the hunter held back and now we will see what happens! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Aha! So Sion and Julia have HISTORY! And there I was thinking he just had a crush on his unrequited love. Should have read better between the lines - after all, how else would he have known about the secret tunnnel? Heh. I think even if you didn't write this additional chapter, readers would assume (and fill in) this scene for themselves. And I'm definitely one of the people wondering what the baby's gonna look like! Maybe like in Caine Wise in the movie Jupiter Ascending. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I don't know why, but I feel kind of sad for the bad guys. Klaus was loyal to the death, and Necro had a vision of saving his kind from persecution, so they weren't completely evil! But well, I guess any other kind of ending would be much more drawn out, and maybe not so logical. I love that Julia saved the day - girl power, yeah! If it were me, I'd have drawn out the 'moment' between them at the end ie she wouldn't have put two and two together quite so fast, maybe a bit more angst, but getting to the point works too! |
![]() ![]() ![]() What I like very much is how you show both sides of the story, how things are not black and white but shades of grey. There is dignity on both sides, even the bad guys have their reasons for fighting and killing. Like Necro wanting a place he can feel safe in, and Deadeye wanting to prove his worth. Content wise, I find this piece very captivating, but of course your writing has improved a lot since this. The aspect that needs work for this chapter is the dialogue, which is rather abrupt and stiff. Dialogue is important because it's one of the ways in which personality of characters can be shown. |
![]() ![]() ![]() We get to hear from and about Brewyn, and yeshhhh I like him! There's a lot of internal dialogue and agonising on both Brewyn and Sion's parts (great-sounding names, BTW) and it made me think more about what was lying beneath the fighting and the violence. One thing I wasn't so clear on, though, was why Brewyn just went ahead and attacked the bears when they hadn't shown any hostility against him yet. Maybe you could drag out the tension a bit, have them approaching the party thinking they could be allies only to find that they're corrupted and then they attack and the fight starts. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Aww... poor Sion! His story is so touching. Was he perhaps secretly in love with the princess, and vice versa, but couldn't be together because of the difference in status? Oh, that's so Romeo and Juliet! I thought it was a little strange at first that Berwyn was so quick to trust the werewolf, but I guess Sion's story won him over. Or maybe he has some kind of elfin sixth sense... Did you ever consider maybe writing Sion's story as a first-person flashback? I think that'd make it even more moving! Cause then you could explore his feelings to the max. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The flashback gives the backstory very clearly! Dropping readers into the thick of the action is a calculated risk - you can grab their attention, sure, but if the next chapters don't deliver, they'll go elsewhere. Here you've kept the level of action high - very fast paced and exciting. Writing wise, I'd say the style is a tad inconsistent, with some modern-sounding bits mixed in with the fantasy genre, but hey, that's just me and my peculiar taste so it's no big deal. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I liked the shifts between Berwyn and the werewolf's POV at the start, even though both were in 3rd person I could 'hear' two different narrating voices. It didn't come across as strongly in the rest of the chapter though - I'd suggest a similar arrangement at the end of the chapter, just for balance. Writing-wise, the action was clearly described - that's your forte and something I'm not good at, whether writing about it or actually doing it :) I guess I could suggest using more different words like beast/creature, warrior/fighter etc instead of repeating 'Werewolf' and 'Brewyn'. It's hard, I know, in scenes when both characters are male. I go crazy trying not to confuse readers which 'he' I'm referring to. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is an interesting first chapter! I enjoyed the thought processes you gave both Berwyn and the werewolf. I really liked how you were able to help me understand your characters without holding some incredibly long monologue as I am often tempted to do. Very nice! |