|Reviews for The Lindum Vanishings|
| maskedhero100 chapter 5 . 8/7/2018
Ah yes, paperwork. Wouldn't it be easier if it all just...blew away? LOL.
I've never liked paperwork for anything, so i feel for David...although i have to admit the thought of the size of paperwork for those cops in action movies both frightens and amuses me.
Why couldn't it be just "madman put bomb on bus, we did what we could to survive to figure out a way to get passengers off before it went kablooie. The End" end of paperwork?
I liked the banter, you can sense the "will they/wont they?" tension in some of your main characters...Scott and Pru to be exact.
cant wait to see where it goes from here, especially with that scene in the computer lab...very eerie.
| maskedhero100 chapter 4 . 7/28/2018
I especially liked the bit with Franko, i sympathized with him on folding book pages and the doctors and cancer part.
I've lost two members of my family to lukemia, so i can understand his fear and frustration towards his wifes condition.
That bit about animal cruelty and burgeoning psychopaths was an interesting bit of information, and I wonder if that was a clue to whoever or maybe even whatever has been attacking these cats.
| maskedhero100 chapter 1 . 5/2/2018
okay, that sentence about the Paperwork made me laugh...because i hate paperwork as well.
I'm a stickler for mystery stories, i happen to be a fan of a certain fictional London Detective and this story sounds very interesting indeed.
What does the case of a missing cats have to do with anything, why have they gone missing...and who is behind it?
The idea and appeal of a mystery is to catch the readers attention with the strange, sudden and or inexplicable crime, and to leave them speculating on the five W's to become invested in continuing on to find out the answer to the mystery at hand...and you definitely pulled that off.
I will definitely be enjoying reading further to see where this goes.
My only critique is that i have no idea but my own knowledge and imagination of where and when the story and the characters take place in.
Maybe its just me because telling the location, date and time is a thing i do.
Keep up the good work with your stories.
| mandywhitrod chapter 62 . 2/18/2017
Wow well done. Thanks for a great story and keeping up with new chapters
| mandywhitrod chapter 56 . 2/12/2017
Thanks for being prompt with the next chapters .. the suspense!
| mandywhitrod chapter 51 . 2/9/2017
On knife-edge here waiting for the next chapter
| mandywhitrod chapter 47 . 1/30/2017
| mandywhitrod chapter 38 . 12/30/2016
thanks for recent quick updates ... this story has me waiting in anticipation for the next chapters
I like your writing style .. fluid and easy to read
| OneSupperNapTime chapter 10 . 4/20/2016
First section with Pru's viewpoint. Nice. I think this is by far my favourite conversation between them, and my favourite sections with Scott in general, so kudos. And the note, of course... (Man, if it was Alice, that would totally work at this point...tallying 1 for favouring Alice.) I really enjoyed the insights into their characters here, and thought it was perfectly placed amongst the developing drama. Their characters feel more distinct to me now.
Favourite line this chapter: The line in the note. Of course.
| OneSupperNapTime chapter 9 . 4/20/2016
Interesting. I'm intruiged by the added backstory we've got going for Franko here, and glad we got to see more of him. It's been a while since I've had a chance to read this, hopefully I'll be able to slip another chapter in. Joshua is a cool character in this, I like his level of relaxed chil compared to the characterisation of David and Franko. Definitely curious about The Butcher backstory. I
Hopefully I'll get another insight into it when another Franko POV rolls around.
Favourite line for this chapter would be...hmmm...'Cancer sticks, he used to call them.' It's a great moment of characterisation for Franko without laying on too much angst in a purely 'tell'ing way.
Latest mentally noted candidate for the killer: Arthur. Although I think highest ranking is still 'Character yet to be revealed on screen'
| OneSupperNapTime chapter 8 . 4/13/2016
These last two chapters were great. I loved the character introductions and the slow build towards the eventual horror. It's cool to feel a convergence of different characters on the scene, and with so much mystery still to look forward to. At the moment I doubt we'll be seeing those IT technicians again but their viewpoint was a nice mix up and you characterized them well in a very short space of time.
| OneSupperNapTime chapter 6 . 4/3/2016
Can I just say how much I like this particular description: 'A multitude of hair colours floated on top of the scene; seaweed in a black ocean.' Just a really nice continued metaphor. And I was really kinda hoping the person watching Scott was the cat killer...unless it WAS... (oooh ho ho ho)
Right, favourite character, as you asked. An interesting choice... I'm going to vote for David at the moment, I think. I really like his character and interactions and I feel like he's got the most done so far. He's entertaining and feels down-to-earth. I also really liked Franko's character, even though he hasn't been in it much. Who is your favourite to write?
| OneSupperNapTime chapter 5 . 4/3/2016
A lot of pondering in this chapter, and not much actual happening. Both characters are simply thinking about what to do next. That said, I like the ending of Scott's section, the nice suspense of description leading up to that last dramatic sentence, and I thought his take on the 'walking over your grave' saying was pretty interesting (I'd never considered it like that). I felt weirdly disconnected from his thoughts about Alice however; I felt like until now I hadn't really gotten an impression that he was much bothered about her at all. (And then, after that, his conclusion is to do nothing, making me wonder if he just had nothing else better to do with his time than rack his brains about Alice.) In David's section I really enjoyed the introduction of Julie and her character portrayal, in the same way that I liked Paula. She's really great, and I hope to see more of her stern side in the future, the mental image entertains me greatly. I think some more plot motion could have happened here to liven up the exchanges, such as sub plot threads if you are understandably building tension for the main plot. You almost break the fourth wall for commentary on pacing here in the (rather fantastic) subtle humour of this juxtaposition:
'Do you think I think too much?'
'What kind of question is that?'
'I dunno, it's just something that's been on my mind for a little while.'
| OneSupperNapTime chapter 4 . 3/29/2016
My internet is being flakey as hell, so I don't know if I will make any more chapters tonight. I'm enjoying the police side of things most at the moment. I really like some of the descriptions you've used for Franko in particular, I think 'like you were being observed through a two way mirror' is the first that comes to mind. The David and Paula relationship continues to be infused with a lovely warmth. And the cat mystery has a new spin at the end of this chapter - how intriguing!
| OneSupperNapTime chapter 2 . 3/22/2016
It's not always easy to catch a cat, I have to give this person some credit here. Those things have -claws-.
Man, I totally thought Dave was cheating (albeit totally adorably) until I read that she was his wife. No, seriously, even after I read 'after ten years of marriage' I thought she was referring to someone else, haha, I only twigged on after the 'take her husband's mind off work' bit because it linked back to their conversation. Anyway, I love the way you link their physical descriptions to their character, with what she loved about him the most and how he's changed and how her smile makes her look friendly etc. These two are adorable, you have this light back-and-forth banter style down to a T. Which is also why you could afford to cut Alice's thinking about Scott paragraph - I think we've got just about enough clue from their conversation. A touch more body language and we'd have her feelings solidified, and the paragraph is an odd head-switch from an otherwise entirely Scott-centric section.
Favourite line this chapter: 'The train of thought soon elicited a slight giggle, in reponse to some of her naughtier ideas'. I absolutely love how you have this on an older character and a married one. YES.