Reviews for The Lindum Vanishings
OneSupperNapTime chapter 1 . 3/21/2016
Nice. Ok, I love the back and forth you have between the separate sets of characters here, you can really feel for their personalities and the natural flow of the conversation. You've got a nice set up. I'm thinking that it might be beneficial - and unfortunately all too easy - to get rid of a lot of this dialogue though, as at this stage it lacks the tension that could kick the story into up and running. There's plenting of time to add in more loving detail to the characters after the hook. For instance your opening sentence could have been 'Maybe they were just hit by cars or something?' (instant intrigue) and then cut that section at 'You think someone's killing all of them' then continue after the character cut-line with some dramatic juxtaposition, straight into 'Finishing his breakfast, Scott [...] before fixing the cat his own bowl of food.' Then you have a nice little tense overshadowing (his cat might be in danger...) whether you do anything with that or not. I do love the characters, and I think they'd be great to spend more time with, so the dramatic hook is a bonus to get people on their side from early on.
Aytgh chapter 1 . 1/8/2016
This looks to be a very interesting crime mystery story. The characters all seem authentic and relatable so far. Scott and Pru seem like an interesting couple.
MTveit chapter 1 . 10/13/2015
Hi!
Wow. The summary of your story drew me in (mostly because it mentioned cats, and I'm a sucker for cats), but the story made me want to read on. I already like many of your characters, especially Scott and Pru. While Pru is simply hilarious, I feel like Scott can be viewed as a very relatable character. I can't wait to see how the dualing POW's meet, and how the story progresses. Everything, from the dialogue, character descriptions and plot seem very interesting so far, so I hope you update this story!
vampirefang999 chapter 1 . 10/9/2015
I like this. It is easy to read and I like the theme. Waiting for the next chapter.
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