|Reviews for Exit Point
| Time And Space In The Balance chapter 1 . 10/12/2015
This is really pretty interesting as the basis for a story! I'm not going to pretend that it's the most original thing I've ever read, but it's a nice premise, nice setup, etc.
Aside from a couple of minor grammar/punctuation errors (I'm sure they're just typos. Everything else seems fine) the main problem I have with this is simply that it feels a little rushed. I'd like to see some more development, some more interaction with characters and so on so that I can feel invested with the emotional story. I realise that you can't have too much of that in 1500 words, of course, but even so it makes the whole thing feel like you've rushed it.
Now I'm probably coming across as very negative here, but I don't mean to! There's some really nice imagery in here, particularly the thing about humans as compared to ants, which was fantastic food for thought. Everything up until the line about the movie is excellent, but from there it breaks down a little - there's less pausing for thought, more disjointed phrases and sentences. Perhaps you could move some of those parts from the start toward the end, to punctuate it more. That'd give it a nice, well-spaced feeling.
Still, nice work there! Definitely keep writing, come up with something new, and expand on what you've already done!
Awesome job! -
-TSB, from the Roadhouse Bar.