|Reviews for Broken Glass|
| SamuraiJake chapter 1 . 10/28/2015
Hey Reshape Reality,
I really enjoyed the piece, you have some excellent detail and descriptive language in here, but there are a few things you could do to really kick it up a notch.
Firstly, check to make sure you are diversifying your word choice, especially in the same sentence:
"carefully spreading them apart with care"
"the back of the hunched back"
Next, check the punctuation. There are a lot of stray and missing commas which are really affecting your flow.
With a few tweaks to your syntax and by proofreading aloud before you post you will be able to smooth out the pacing and keep the reader hooked with your content.
Great job, I am excited to read more.