Reviews for Life Source and Other Poems
DemigodessOfEternity chapter 6 . 11/26/2017
Amazing poetry with some great ideas at the cores. Great job!
KoscheiTepes chapter 6 . 11/25/2017
I don't see any problems with this poem whatsoever myself. I think it's perfect just the way that it is and I loved it. I love how you showed that the lessons to be learned in the real world aren't as easy to understand (0r as pleasant) as the ones that are learned in school. There isn't always a simple correct answer to life's problems like there is for the questions on a test and there's often no 'right' answer at all period or at least not one that's easy to arrive at anyway. Yet again you've come up with another wonderful poem that makes us think and causes us to look at life from a different angle.
KoscheiTepes chapter 5 . 11/16/2017
I can see why it got an A alright. I loved it. I had to admit that it made me think of the walls that we surround ourselves with in a brand new way that hadn't occurred to me before. It is ironic that we use them to keep the world out but wind up putting up pictures that show us parts of that same world up on them. Humans are definitely contradictory, illogical beings for sure. Happy birthday and I hope you have a great day today!
Marina x Machina chapter 4 . 11/6/2017
The paragraph, in this case, serves as an effective structure because you really do get the sense of being overwhelmed with information and maybe you missed some details but they by too quickly so you're just left with a vague and dizzy impression of the whole thing. I hope that's what the intended effect was.

I do hope I'm not coming off as a desperate flatterer because of my reviews, but I really do appreciate this collection. I really feel like I should read your longer stories but right now I'm in a spot where I prefer shorter, more sentimental stuff like poems. Nonetheless, I hope I'm able to convey that I genuinely enjoyed reading through these. For all the long, fancy stories I aspire to, the content that really brightens up my day are just short,
Marina x Machina chapter 3 . 11/6/2017
A bit more on the nose but very relevant. It's odd when you see the contrast between filtered instagrams and life without the cute coffee cups and neat makeup vanity. I enjoy them because they give me hope that someone out there is living a worry-free life with sunshine and red lipstick, but in the end, they're probably even more depressed than me because they know the truth.
Marina x Machina chapter 2 . 11/6/2017
While this one is shorter, it is quite relateable and again, just subtle enough. I liked the phrase "diaries of pain" (though under unfortunate circumstances) but the closure is nicely done, not too maudlin for my taste but fairly reasonable and brightening. I think I like your style of poetry so far.
Marina x Machina chapter 1 . 11/6/2017
I don't think I could ever personify water as beautifully as you have.
I'd say more but honestly, I don't think I would do anything to change this. From the title to the references throughout the text, there's just enough subtlety so that the conceit of the poem isn't in your face, and the tone never gets condescending or too moralistic to distract. I would say I genuinely enjoyed this and it seems like an underrated piece of poetry.
boggs chapter 1 . 10/4/2016
Your personification of water to make social commentary is quite effective! The comparison between polluted water and disease is especially moving. I think the idea-which is often the hardest part-is really stellar, but I think the language could be stronger. I'm also interested in the form of the poem. I'm aware that it might not show on fictionpress (because formatting here isn't really flexible), so I'm just curious: is the form of the poem (line length, stanza length, etc.) meant to convey anything visually? If not, it's okay (just wondering!). The poem appears to be free verse, so I am just looking for undercover symbols that aren't easily noticed upon first glance.

Overall, I'm interested in this collection of poetry, especially the social commentary that seems to be a recurrent theme throughout. Keep up the good work!
RainbowJH chapter 1 . 12/22/2015
I like the beautiful way in which you have personified water, something we think of and use everyday, never giving any thought to it's condition. The play between, words, is just wow. I am drawn in immediately by the first line 'conceived through a love affair between hydrogen and oxygen'. As you go on, I can feel how it has beared all this pain that we create. How it silently goes on suffering without complaining. I liked the imagery you create about the waste being thrown in its mouth.
Overall, it's a really powerful piece of work. Loved it! Keep writing:-)