|Reviews for P0lybius|
| Ckh chapter 1 . 6/18/2018
Cool. I didn't think anyone on FP would cover Polybius. Its a concept that sticks with you, this urban legend of a game, and you portrayed it masterfully. Its short, suspenseful and might even pass off for an allegory of game addiction for those unaware. Very good piece of flash fiction.
"I think I'm pretty good" - a simple line but one that hits close to home. Ouch.
| Electrumwriter chapter 1 . 5/2/2016
This piece definitely belongs to the age of the web and the deep web! I suspect that the perilous game arose from the deep web before going viral. There are many games that are too absorbing and even addictive to some. Your dark and pessimistic slant is both a valid and necessary caution about these things.
The details of the game are suitably ambiguous. The narrator's senses are already scrambled and though it's not unexpected, it is vaguely chilling how they are debilitated by increments - first grinding on at the game for 18 hours, then losing interest in reality to the game patterns... I wonder if the game is designed to echo the player's brain patterns... ? And then they've lost touch with reality altogether and these men in black have arrived. Reminds me of the old piece: "they're coming to take me away," by Jerry Samuels.
| Ventracere chapter 1 . 1/3/2016
Oh this is short. But it's nothing short of impressive.
I think we've all been there at once point, entranced by a game, and in this particular case a video game. What's more is that this reminds me of EPIC, written by Vivian Van Velde. But as always, your piece takes a sinister turn. But the difference with this one is that it's a lot more subtle. I like how it creeps up on your and you don't really give us that one BIG turn. Here it's more meandering and a kind of "here. Here it is, what are you going to deal with it?"
Another thing that I liked is that the protagonist doesn't fight the men who come and take away his computer. The game has done it's job and now it's time for the men in black to do theirs.
This was a really refreshing read! Thanks :)
| Virtuella chapter 1 . 11/14/2015
I like it. Very neat and to the point, the hallmark of your writing. It is an excellent amplification of the way some games can suck the life out of us. It reminds me of the first time I played Tetris; I thought I had maybe played twenty minutes, half an hour, but when I looked at the clock, I saw that over four hours had passed. Antidream, great neologism.
| MariaTJackson chapter 1 . 11/10/2015
My first thought was, 'Wow that as short!' This is true, but it is an effective story nonetheless. I found the descriptive language intriguing and I really wanted to know what the game was like, and o even play it myself. The ending however was a bit jarring, I mean what happens next? I have the feeling that this could be explored on a deeper level, and fleshing this out could prove to make an interesting. Amazing work once again!
~Jay of MTJ
| Jalux chapter 1 . 11/10/2015
I feel like something that really comes through in the piece was the obsession, I think it's something most people can relate to, to a certain extent and it's conveyed really nicely here with some excellent language and descriptions. I also agree that the story kind of led you to believe there was something bigger then just him getting taken away at the end. Like maybe the game was part of something more sinister. Basically it feels like there's more to this story. Still good nonetheless.
| Cheddar-Graham chapter 1 . 11/9/2015
I like the basic premise of a game that takes over people's lives and for the most part I think you describe the experience rather well. I'd suggest playing out the process of growing obsession a little more, however, because I think it'd be more sinister if it were more gradually insidious. For the ending, I think the men in black makes sense, and playing a game in one’s head if one has been playing it all day is actually normal – studies show that we dream about our daily activities more than anything else. I guess I was looking for a twist because you often do that – oh, I dunno, the game is an alien plot to take over humanity, or the mental effort spent playing the game is being used to fuel a secret government project, or something like that?