|Reviews for eTu'nes|
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/3/2019
Yeah, so a point-blank headshot will definitely kill a man. If the bullet came from some distance away, you MIGHT get lucky and survive that. But point-blank? That’s insta-death. Or at the very least, extremely serious brain damage. But death is more likely. No one who got shot in the head at close range will have the time or the awareness to groan in pain.
You should pull out the actor-cast listing. It breaks the flow of the narrative and utterly throws the reader out of any sense of immersion. The only person who gives a damn about whose doing the acting is you. Save the character introductions for when they ACTUALLY appear in the story.
| trashman chapter 1 . 4/2/2019
Did I actually just read that a bullet wound to the head didn't kill someone? I understand that not everybody has a basic grasp on ballistics, but I though it was common knowledge that a shot to the head would kill you. There are no modifiers that can prevent this - that man was shot at point blank range, without any protection, in the head. He is most definitely dead.
| Nijineko chapter 18 . 12/29/2016
Interesting story. There are major cultural anomalies and occasional spelling errors of Japanese names which detract from the flow and sense of immersion, however this will only affect those who are very familiar with Japanese culture. Some of these anomalies might also be explained by drift and cross-pollination given the setting and time period, so overall it is only of medium impact. Multiple plot threads and foreshadowing is well done. Narrator mode and character mode handoffs are occasionally confusing. A few minor contradictory statements can be found. Overall impression of story is positive, with interesting characters, and a sense of plot and story development potential.
| O'Conner chapter 22 . 12/21/2016
Terrific story but this last chapter whilst interesting is short. Can't wait for the next chapters. I thought there organization struck from the shadows?
| O'Conner chapter 11 . 12/20/2016
Brilliant story and loved this chapter!
| O'Conner chapter 9 . 12/19/2016
Omg! Enima! That's hilarious! Can't believe you could get in trouble for that name. But gotta say love the story!
| O'Conner chapter 1 . 12/19/2016
Not bad for an opening chapter! Some minuscule spelling errors but it is a great story and am looking forward to reading the other chapters!