|Reviews for Respawn
| Guy F4wkes chapter 8 . 12/6/2015
The Story itself is beautifully designed and the characters are lovable, sure to be a good run. Cant wait for more.
| Tikatu chapter 8 . 12/6/2015
I'm loving this, C. Especially loving some of the particularly persistent Easter Eggs you've thrown in, like John Tracy and Beleghant from our mutual fandom. Of course John would show up as a Male Elf (though not a drow) and ride a red and black hippogriff. Of course Beleghant would be a sleazy, sneaky, foul piece of work. I really love Harley in this, too, adapting from universe to universe but retaining the same characteristics of a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Nicely done.
Three things for consideration:
One: Differentiation between narrative and internal dialog in some places was hard to place, especially in the first few lines from first-person character's voice and third person author's voice. I was often so caught up in the character voice that when you switched over into author's voice I was going, "Wha?! Where'd this come from?!" A bit of visual space between those sections might be of help, even it it's only white space.
Two: Did you mean to leave the tribute to the Paris attacks in the middle of chapter 5?
Three: It would make more sense (to me) to put footnotes/author's notes at the bottom of the chapters where they occur. Putting them at the end of the eight chapters already written means I've already lost what they were about by the time I get to them. Setting them apart with a line would mark their status as footnotes as well.
I love the differences in character voices you have developed. Al's smart-aleck, slangy speech, Lindsey's tortured English, Kara's voice actress delivery, and the half-rambling inner monologue of Jordan all are clear and expressive, giving us a real glimpse into the mind of each character. This, coupled with your pithy yet poetic description makes this story a real joy to read. Marking this as a favorite now so I'll know when you update.