|Reviews for The Project|
| philliph chapter 231 . 9/7
An interesting chapter. The author has left the readers an interesting situation; What now?
| philliph chapter 220 . 6/14
I think that our visitors were cheated big time!
| A Rando chapter 133 . 2/28
Hey, uh, could you give the chapters names or at the very least one or two word summaries about the topic? It's kind of hard to go on a reading hiatus and then come back.
| cull30 chapter 199 . 12/5/2019
Your discussion re:the way Seals are being treated was right on. Our services spend time and money to train them to be deadly and then whine when they do their job. Can’t make this stuff up. Tom
| cull30 chapter 189 . 9/29/2019
Very good story, tough to put down
Thanks for sharing with me
| addicted2text chapter 1 . 8/2/2019
I enjoyed this story but found it uneven and needing rewrites in parts. The general idea is fantastic and the beginning well written for the most part but there are many unfortunate typos including one that repeats towards the later end of the story that doubles as an ethnic slur. The summary could also use some editing to indicate the wealth of the lead-in this story takes to build up the universe and the connections between worlds and characters. It takes nearly three-fourths of the text before we even begin dealing with the ownership of a planet, which based on the summary would imply is the meat of the story.
The story itself though? Oh man it's got a lot going for it! The richness of how the organic growth of a young man choosing to abandon everything he knows to chase adventure in space plays out in the text is phenomenal! Ditto the way that certain locales are looped through building them up as destinations and familiar places in the universe. Even the character arcs play out well, showing the immaturity of the young men and women involved as they interact and abrade each other's issues while still trying to get along works well. I love that the main character is able to be surprised and able to admit that he doesn't know everything. All well done! You can watch as the young adults grow into the people they want to be and how responsibility changes them and accelerates the process of maturity.
I would definitely recommend a pre-reader to check for typos, like the misspelling of the word like which replaces the 'l' with a letter 'k' which I saw several times. I would definitely alter the summary a bit too. Something along the lines of 'Young Alex was just a teenager barely graduated from high school when he found himself a part of a larger universe of people than he could have ever imagined could exist. One thing leads to another and one friendship makes the next now Alex finds himself in charge of an entire planet and recruiting people to move there to build a place for humanity away from the oasis that is Earth...'
The story is enjoyable and I really don't think I'd cut any of the buildup because I find it all organic and those connections and friendships all make sense and build the story but something needs to indicate that this is a bit of a slow burner and Alex doesn't just immediately get a planet given to him. He works for it and there's a lot that needs to happen in the beginning to build the context of the larger universe in which this story lives.
I'll admit that I'm not too sure about some of the romance though. He meets an alien girl whose family is known to have mental powers and almost immediately falls in bed with her it seems odd.. Especially after the events which directly precede it with the two brats who tried to turn the other two girls against him. This is even stranger considering at least a part of the problem with the two survivors of the raiders being ferried to their home planet are acting out in part from his reaction to their appearance. So he is taken aback by the ghoulistic features of the young boys but finds those features attractive on an older woman? It just seems odd.
Then up until he decides to commit to her, it seems like leaving Earth has created the most amazing pheromones for our main character. All female characters are intrigued by him. Everywhere he goes. Two different alien women are seeking his attentions, plus whatever was going on with Kelly in the background and his ex-girlfriend Palmer, plus various girls met over the course of his recruitment to come to Endor. There just seems to be a lot of it, then it fizzes out. It is possible that at least some of this perception is due to having binge read the story over a matter of days so take that with some salt.
I did have some questions though... Some omissions seemed odd to me. For instance with the sheer amount of hacking capability at evidence here, why has no one suggested creating a copy of the internet backed up to some device or another? Or considering the music problem, why has no one tried downloading it all? I can't believe that a radio station would have copies of cds around instead of a wide assortment of songs ripped to either high quality FLAC or some other lossless format. Ditto when it comes to films.
I find it difficult to believe no one suggested slurping up several plex servers sharing movies and television shows, backing that up to some large storage device and using Kodi (The media center formerly known as XBMC) to organize and create a local netflix for the people on Endor. Not to mention what addons for the application like PseudoTV can do by randomizing the media into playlists that can be surfed like a local cable company. Sure people are working and aren't supposed to layabout like lumps watching television all the time but what about in the evenings after the labor is done? Following that I'm surprised no one has organized a Friday night at the show type deal where Earth movies are shown and displayed in the evenings on a large screen outdoors for the entertainment of all.
Carrying along similar thoughts, I'm surprised that no one has introduced cards or pulled up emulators for old game consoles to play either player versus player or just a handful of RPGs to pass the time in space while in between planets. These are minor details but I'm surprised they haven't been addressed. Another minor detail would be the lack of discussion about reproduction. There's been a lot of sex in the story but no happy little accidents or even thoughts about what-if.. It's an odd omission.
All that is to say you've captured my imagination with this story and got me thinking about it. So thank you for that! I got to enjoy it twice-once while reading it and again in the aftermath thinking about it. I hope you take this review in the spirit it was intended, by someone who has become invested in the story and not as someone who is trying to crap on it. I have enjoyed the story very much and I look forward to discovering your other works while waiting for updates to this one.
| The Cybersmith chapter 58 . 3/12/2019
Shepard in his childhood.
I'm willing to bet good money that he'll change his name to Shepard, though. _
| The Cybersmith chapter 42 . 3/12/2019
Here's a tip for dealing with humans; never get between us and a loved one. We will do crazy, mindless shit to get them back, even acting suicidal in hopes of getting them back.
| The Cybersmith chapter 7 . 3/12/2019
This chapter gave me chills... Bravo to you, dude. Awesome story!
| SpaceOrbisStories chapter 1 . 2/6/2019
Well I can say you have misspelled a few things and some of this chapter is a bit hard to understand. You have an interesting idea and all but so far I'm unsure how good this story can be.
You have a high school kid who is in the middle of nowhare and he happens to met an old man who is about to die and an Android who is nude and it's clear he will go into space.
It's just an odd set-up. I'll give this story a chance given the idea you seem to have thus far but I'm unsure if I'll keep reading after chapter two.
| nemoskull chapter 2 . 1/31/2019
this is good. th story is good, the writing is goodish. the storytelling is a bit...dunno, amaturish? unrefined? raw?
not sure, but its good and i like it.
| Estrellagrace chapter 1 . 9/2/2018
just commenting to say that your pic looks like the cover of that lundy album called broken or something. also your summary is really vague :(
| philliph chapter 137 . 7/13/2018
Good story. Why have you not published it?
| Jack chapter 120 . 1/18/2018
good story. plot moves along with good detail and action. some technical problems with grammar.
Well worth reading
| Aj chapter 11 . 7/17/2017
Hello I love the concept of your story I am still on chapter 11 and I really hope this was fixed in later chapters but please for the love of god stop calling solar systems galaxy's a galaxy like ours has 400 billion stars most have solar systems with multiple planets I don't mean to be rude it just bugs me it's a pet peeve of mine when I read sci-fi especially space type sci-fi and see basic errors in the discription of the universe if this was a Harry Potter fan fiction and the author called the solar system a galaxy I would let it pass I hope that anybody writing a sci-fi at least does that minimal research. Anyway I love the description of the androids and their plight it fit well with my ideas of what I thought would happen to something like sky etc after the humans where all gone