|Reviews for Betrayed|
| LDF chapter 1 . 1/14/2016
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[The leather ripped easily under the pressure of the sword plunging through it. The man - who had now collapsed to his knees - looked up at me. I could see it in his eyes. He was hoping for a shred of mercy or tinge of guilt. Anything that would make the grip on my weapon loosen.
"Please..." he whispered in a hoarse voice. His hand was pressed against his stomach in a desperate attempt to cover the tear in his armor. Despite his efforts, blood oozed from the cracks between his fingers, blackening his hand in the sticky liquid. "Please... spare my life. I have a wife... children... they need me!"]
If the sword plunged through the armor to tear it, then the guy should be slowly dying of a gutwound. I think you mean to write 'sliced' instead of 'plunged' because the former would make more sense if the sword just grazed through.
[I shook my head. It was against the Code to give in to mercy or to show emotion to the victim, or to anyone for that matter. Breaking this would result in death, or something much worse. It wasn't easy keeping your feelings under check. Many times I did feel that pang of guilt, that singe of mercy. Many times I did want to lower my weapon, but I never did.]
The assassin sounds more like a rookie than someone who has killed many times before. If they feel remorse many times yet go along with killing I'm surprised they haven't succumbed to their own anguished burdens. For someone who really doesn't want their victims to have faces, they allow the victim to speak long enough for there to be hesitation.