|Reviews for Beshert|
| Rebecca Roy chapter 1 . 3/3
Wow, great start, and glad that you are touching on the Holocaust and how horrible it was for those who went through it.
| Rosie Cowell chapter 6 . 12/3/2016
Oh no! Erika! I loved it! It was amazing, well done! Please update soon!
| SheWritesIThink chapter 2 . 9/19/2016
Very dark and realistic accounts from Erika. You clearly have knowledge of the Holocaust. The murder and hanging of the bodies was a fairly common way to make an example out of inmates. The fact that shes survived this and all that she was a witness too is a good way to show the strength and resilience of her character.
"The pink fingers of dawn were beginning to creep over the horizon." Beautiful imagery and personification.
I think you should make the chapters a bit longer though, they're quite short (I have the same issue).
| SheWritesIThink chapter 1 . 9/19/2016
Interesting premise, it holds much potential. I think the story is told a bit too lightly though, considering the severity and harshness of the subject matter.
I am interested in seeing where this goes with Erika and Yuri. Keep writing! :)
| Aouregan chapter 1 . 2/20/2016
I really like this story. I mean, Erika seems like such a strong character and Yuri seems rather endearing to me, but I am having some confusion with how you word some of your phrases.
For example: Is it possible to speak a language flawlessly but have an accent while speaking said language? I speak English whenever I want to but it isn't considered perfect English that is free of flaws because of my accent. So how can a Russian speak German flawlessly when he has an obvious Russian accent while speaking German? Do you mean that he spoke good German, but that there was a noticeable Russian accent? I am afraid I am a little confused about the wording.
There is one thing that I don't understand about the tone of this story either. It sounds too happy. As though Erika and Yuri are meeting at a café in Paris instead of a concentration camp like Auschwitz. The happy tone really divides up the story, and makes it seem like it is confused. It wants a romantic element to make things happy, but at the same time the plot demands that the tone be more tragic and painful.
That said, I do believe that Erika is a great character, and with a little more development, she'll be perfect and will seem more human. Yuri... I am not sure what I make of him yet. I mean, he's a soldier, and would have known about his fellow comrades that were being held in Death Camps such as Auschwitz. Wouldn't he be devastated to learn just what was going on at such a place? Surely, he would have known quite a number of his fellow comrades that were prisoners of war, and would be trying to find out all he could about their fates?
Other than my nitpicks, I feel that you do have a strong basis for an excellent story. Is there any way that you can set up the tone so that it shows the tragedy of what happened to both characters, but focus on the romantic element as well?