|Reviews for Mystic Island Chronicles 1: An Island Dreams are made of|
| Joeson chapter 1 . 4/11
Great start! I'd like to see how this is going to turn out. You know what, you can join NovelStar's writing competition.
| misslibrarian chapter 3 . 4/4/2016
I like that the Bird of *Light* is evil. Nice irony. I'd like to learn more about the Bird.
I would also like to learn more about the whole birthmark system.
There's lots of opportunity for worldbuilding in this chapter.
I'd like to also see how magic and technology coexist, that's something that is not seen very often in literature.
Andrea is an interesting character.
| misslibrarian chapter 2 . 4/4/2016
Interesting chapter. How did you come up with the magical chant?
LOL, Reuben's middle name is James!
I feel like Mystic accepted the whole magic thing a bit too fast however.
| misslibrarian chapter 1 . 1/31/2016
Sounds like a movie trailer! I'm excited for the rewrite!
| littlemisslibrarian chapter 2 . 1/31/2016
Watch your capitalization. In the first line, "Black" doesn't need to be capitalized.
"Matt's revolving around magic." doesn't need to be a sentence fragment. I'm not against sentence fragments. Of course. But this could be reworded to flow better.
How does Matt know that his particular symbol represents magic and not some other force? Is there a specific symbol for magic? What does the star look like? On that topic, what does Matt look like?
"posses" should be "possess."
Mystic accepted that all very quickly.
What does Mystic look like?
Even if the chant sounds like gibberish, maybe put it in anyway.
What does the gem look like?
My main problem with this chapter is detail. Remember, your reader doesn't know what everything looks like, sounds like, etc. They are essentially blind. If you can add detail, add it, within reason.
The pacing is a bit fast, and a lot of that problem can be fixed by adding detail as well.
I wish I could do line edits like we do in workshops.
However, this is a better beginning than the previous story. You are definitely improving, and I like that you're adding more characters and worldbuilding.
I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter and seeing your progress!