1.) I love their relationship in the way that they start off bickering and the in the next breath they are comforting and kind.
2.) The thrill and suspense is translated so perfectly in this scene!

Wow, this drew me in right away! I can' t wait to read what happens next. Especially with Mr. Tall dark and concieted.

THIS GAVE ME CHILLS! I loved having two chapters to read! So much excitement!

I friggin' love cheesecake. I got seriously cheesecake hungry during the first part of this chapter. But then everything else happened and cheesecake - completely forgotten. I knew she'd say yes to him, who wouldn't? But how very cruel of you to stop there!

GIVE ME MORREEEE! lol

I had so many questions popping up in my mind reading this, but you've done a good job answering most of them as I've read on. I still have a few running through my brain, but I like that, keeps me on my toes when I read haha there should always be questions.
There's something delicious about a mighty and powerful vampire running the show, isn't there? I like this story, I like Neil, I like your plot, I like Neil. Did I mention that I like Neil? Waiting patiently for next chapter :)
And Neil.

This story has been sitting on my followed stories section for a while and I only got around to reading it today. Now I'm kicking myself because it's so good! Can't wait to read more!

I can't wait for more! :)

I am ready for the next chapter! Love it!

This is very intresting always leaving us for more n wanting more sych a great job u are doing . Keep it up
Love you

This is terrific! You know how mch I read and this could turn into a best seller! I can't wait to read more.

The story is compelling and I would like to learn the mystery of the necklace. Details are thin for a novel but acceptable for a short story. Your style is very readable and your plot descriptions are good, you are a good story teller. You indict there is romantic/sexual tension between these two and Neil seems terribly protective of Siennna with almost no reason yet within one maybe two hours she thinks he understands her...really?

How did she get to the bar in the first place? Did she drive? Has she left her car behind? Hawthorne is in lockdown? Ok, so he has imprisoned this guy and she doesn't find that really alarming? Who is this guy and she seems awfully naive and trusting given what she has seen and allowed him to railroad her into and now she is going someplace "safe" with him? What voices is she hearing that indicate letting him take control is a good idea? He can check traffic cameras, how is that? You're expecting your audience and your protagonist to accept a 'hero' with no evidence that he is such a man. He told her that he necklace puts her life in danger and she just willy nilly lets him take over...she's an idiot.

What was the struggle in the back or the room? What was it Hawthorne did that caused the bouncer to manhandle him? He was called the bosses office he has no reason to think he needs to resist that does he? Did he try to run? What happened? He is already struggling even before he gets a good look at Sienna, I want to know why.
Brushing her hair out of her face and touching her neck seems an awfully intimate gesture from a stranger, it would offend me. Taking her hands in his would be quite enough for their first few minutes of acquaintance.
You mention in the next chapter or two that Sienna hadn't worn the necklace every day since her mom gave it to her, either she did or didn't the contradiction should be corrected.
When Neil tells her the necklace puts her life in danger her reaction needs fleshed out. What does he know? Why isn't she interested in finding out why he would make such a outrageous statement about a simple necklace?

I think you need more back story on Lucy and Sienna. You have a very basic premise as to why Sienna went to the Obsession but, its not really believable. Tell me why Sienna feels like it her job to go see Lucy's boss, why is their connection so deep that she feels compelled to do this? I'd also like to know more about Neil's bar and management skills. Do his employees like him, respect him, or fear him, and why. Sienna has heard those rumors...where, in what context why did that make her think she should be the one to approach him? Why hasn't she tried to talk Lucy into to doing that very thing. In short, flesh out the story some more.