I enjoyed this story. The plot is good, and the way you did the great reveal was also good.

I loved it. Please do write an epilogue.

First off, yes, mistakes.
Secon, I'm sorry it took me so long to read this. I've been reading it off and on since you posted, when I've had like 5 mins to myself to sit down and stuff.
I feel a little bittersweet about this. But overall, it was a good ending and I'm glad to see everything worked itself out and Harley *didn't* die.
Thanks. Can't wait to find out what happens with *The Monster Under My Bed*
(Idk if you've given it a title yet, but this just came to me)
I really hope you can get more written with it and get it sorted out soon.
I think a Shirely epilogue isn't really needed, but if you want to do one, go ahead.

Huh...Now all my brain can think is...IS HARLEY REALLY DEAD?!
My own, internal instincts of WTF moments and TWISTED plot twists are screaming that this is a trick!
But, at the same time...5 bullets is nearly impossible to live through, unless you have miraculous luck OR they happen to hit non-vital spots. But even then you'll most likely bleed out before you can be saved.

*Shudders violently in disgust...proceeds to make gagging noises*
UUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH
Um, I guess i can't talk though...In the later, later, LATER parts of ISW a character is introduced who is...either toe-to-toe or WORSE than Sheri here. I'm not sure, as my inspiration stopped shortly after said character was introduced. But...uuuuuugggghhhh.
Other than that, this was good. You had some wrong parts. When you finish the Gift, I almost want you to send me everything and have me go through and make all the technical edits that need to be done. But that's just the editor in me. I don't mean anything personal by it. When I was in high school, I had tons of people come to me to help them edit papers and stuff.

Suuuup?
So, this was loads of crap, for Harley at least. And the whole 'giving Kevin away for no good reason' must REALLY sting.
other than that, it was a pretty normal chapter. Not too much action, but not bland enough to be crazy boring. Sheri's a bitch tho, just saying.
and Harley was super blotchy as well to that guard. Especially since there's at least a 70% chance that he honestly didn't know who she was. But hey, moody bitches will be moody bitches.

I can tell you just rushed this out, as there were quite a few mistakes. May want to go reread through it a little slower.
Also, this was a pretty simple chapter, but I agree it seemed like something that was needed. Having Harley show that she wants to focus more on the crazy shit about to happen, instead of all the sex, is a good thing. Plus, you even added a little more of Kevin and his complicated nerves as well. lol

...And the heat level rises, rofl
This was smexy. All I gotta say. Also it was a little cute to see how Kevin was internally nervous but externally had all the control. Complicated characters are always fun...speaking of complicated...As soon as I get home, my own mess of a tangled web and plot will begin.
stil though, this was good. And I did enjoy it, yes. Now I gotta head home. Just clocked out and figured I'd read real quick before heading out. Thank you for the chapter. Paris should be fun, lol and lots of tense as well.

In reply to your PM I just received explaining Lyn's hidden...talents:
*GIANT THUMBS-UP!*
In response to the headcase that is evidently Harley right now (haha, I made a bad joke there...don't hit me...)
Wow...so, lots of things went on in this chapter, lol. My magic senses are tingling!
*coughs* Ahem, I do apologize. I like your little description of this chapter as it's pretty accurate. I honestly don't have too much to say, as your A/N summed it up pretty damn well.
But!
I find it very interesting that the forgotten part of herself had so much power/control over their joined powers. Also, it's quite the insane experience to find another part of yourself that is you but is not and hold a conversation with it. This is something you may want to take note of. If nothing else, it should stick in Harley's head for awhile and she should have some sorting out she'll need to do over it. It doesn't have to be anything crazy or major.
But with this, Harley is officially half-insane in my books.
Also, don't take that as a insult. lol I'm half-insane myself, so I almost see it as a strange compliment. That's just my screwed-up head though.

You didn't edit this, as there were numerous mistakes. But, with a scene this heavy and crazy, can I blame you? Uh, no. rofl
Anyway, DAAAAMN, girl...
So, yeah. Chill 15 is gonna be a little steamy...but no actual sex, as I'm sure you will agree it is NOT time for that. But with this chapter, Chill 15 will look just that, rofl.
It's so cold in comparison to this hot and heavy stuff. lol.

so, you messed up at one point. I don't remember if it's this chapter or last. Kevin said Harley was a 'girl' when he met her for the first time, of '27' years old or so. I'm sorry, but that's not a 'girl', unless she has a very big mental handicap.
And all the rest...
It kind of all ran together, so my brain feels a bit like mush right now trying to process it and while I was reading it. I got everything, but everything felt like it was one long-ass breath and coming out in one huge exhale. I know you have periods and stuff...I think its more of the way I'm imagining Kevin speaking. He's freaking out and wanting to get it all out as quickly as possible. But, anyway...still super exhausted. My brain's kinda fried right now.
This was super good. Nice, confusing, complicated backstory. I feel sorry for Kevin, and yet...I also don't. I'm not sure how to feel about him right now. The whole...'bubbly' lovey feeling is kind of gone though. I don't know what will replace it though.
So, yeah...I review, thank you! Also, figured you'd want to know how I felt about the chapter and the emotions (what there are right now) going through my head as I read it.

The truth, you a-hole! The truth is finally coming out!
Sorry. All I got for now. Got to go to Part 2. Laters. lol

Thanks for the chapter, Hypa. Thoroughly enjoyed it, with all the different levels that were going on. Sorry I didn't get to it until later than I originally planned. I went to work yesterday and uh...fainted, twice. I hit my head on the concrete floor as well, so to be safe I called in today and had the chance to read. First time calling in, ever, in the year that I have been working this job, so I think I'm doing pretty good with that. I also think I have a pretty legitimate excuse as well. Pretty sure the fainting was just really low blood-sugar mixed with my body already kind of wacky since I'm not feeling too hot...Either that or the ladies in the bakery's suspicions are right and I'll have to take a test...And if so...I'm not very happy...
Anyway, enough of my ramblings. On to the chapter content.
Kevin has done quite a bit to turn his self around and get back in my good graces. I'd say he's ever...60% there too.
Also, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Astral projection, I see. I haven't seen it spawn off of mere visions too often before, but it is possible and it does make some sense. Yay you for thinking about things logically and coming up with a way to slowly 'level up' her abilities. I was instantly like 'Ayyyyyy!' when I started reading the vision part, lol.
Anyway, hope this review finds you well. Going to post Chill 8 for the...3 total 'Frostbite' junkies I currently have, lol.

Now that she knows the truth...why didn't she runaway?

...
*sounds of nuclear bombs going off in my head*
WTF YOU SONOFABITCH!
I am so angry right now!
I am pissed off so hardcore right now!
I have to go punch a pillow for the next five minutes and eat a damn bowel of chocolate ice cream to calm the fuck down!
You little bitch! I suspected you were a traitor...but damn it, why did it have to be true?!