|Reviews for Scientific Magic|
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/11/2017
I love it! You're a great writer!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 14 . 7/28/2016
YAY! Ren won! COOL! Awesome! That will teach those arrogant bastards like the annoying Dani! He's strong!
I don't think you suck at the combat scenes, I think they are good. Have more faith in yourself, you're doing fine. THis was a fun chapter, I enjoyed it. Good to see some action in a long while, and I really hope Ren's status and name improve from this victory! Go, Ren, go!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 13 . 7/9/2016
Yay, Hikaru won the duel. Awesome! He's too smart for his own good. Hooray.
Slice of life story, you mean? No wonder everything's so...slow. The characters talk too much, even in the middle of a duel. And Hikaru is joining Nidfia (I almost thought she was a Tyranid Mafia) for meals. I hope he doesn't get tabled.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 12 . 6/24/2016
All right, here's your review. If you yourself find the chapter boring, why post it? Maybe change it a bit? I dunno.
It's a bit...slow at the moment. I've no idea what you plan to do with the story, or what's going on. Hikaru has his wand, yay. Now he's back to taking classes. Okay. And then a meal. All right. I guess this is important somehow, to show what the students eat and how they live. Their school life. I'm not sure. But maybe you can split them up into something more exciting. Like...I dunno, transmorgification class having Hikaru do something crazy with his plasticine? Or the teacher being eccentric and weird? Sofia was laughing at Hikaru for being the only student in a class, but maybe you can expand on that and turn it into an interesting incident. Food for thought.
Who's Nidfia Nightingale again?
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 11 . 6/14/2016
Snakes can slide pretty quickly on the ground, you know. That's how they catch their prey sometimes. Don't underestimate their speed just because they don't have legs. They have evolved to glide across the ground at a frightening speed.
Well...psychological battles, you say? Or at least none of them in this chapter? But isn't the whole I-Spy and challenging the dude into a battle according to its weakness a form of psychological battle in itself? Well, at least Hikaru won. Yay. But considering he outsmarted the dragon by being shrewd, I would say that counts as psychological. I could be wrong, though. Ha ha.
And he got his wand! WOOHOO! YAY! Hikaru has gotten his wand at last! This feels like Harry Potter, except that it has your own style and ideas on it! Looking forward to see what he'll do with his wand now.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 10 . 6/4/2016
No, it's fine. It's good to split the chapter into two. No wonder I thought I already read the previous chapter. It makes sense now.
I don't think that counts as trespassing, but whatever. And you're using a snake too! Cool. I was using that for my new story (which I'll probably never write, but whatever). And Hikaru is going to get a wand! Yay! Harry Potter time!
Let's see what happens soon. But boy, they talk too much.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 9 . 6/4/2016
Huh? I thought I already reviewed this chapter. Weird. Well, I understand the hair problem, but I don't really care. Now I'm worried about losing all my hair! Argh, the problems that come with age. Sigh.
Anyway, this looks cool. Why does Hikaru Ren recognize the Greek symbols? Okay, the ancient language on Mageia, so does that mean everyone there learns the ancient language? Cool.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 8 . 6/1/2016
It's fine. Write it as spontaneously as you want. And yeah, this chapter is much better in terms of length. Not too many things happening at once, and you cut out or separated the irrelevant bits. Yay! Good job!
Good to see Ren get into the magic school. Hip hip hooray! And he's right, it's just a score. I don't get why everyone is so afraid of him.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 7 . 6/1/2016
I think you should split your chapter up. You have too many different things happening in one chapter, you could very easily divide it into two! I mean, first the exam, then the results and Ren getting accepted, than Lionel's house visit, and meeting his mother, blah blah...why not divide the chapter into two?
I don't get Ren's logic. Since when does eating meat mean an unhealthy diet and going to a hospital? I'm surprised he receives enough protein to build up muscle with his lack of meat. Pro tip: Vegetarian diet does not necessarily mean healthier and avoidance of going to the hospital. There are many essential minerals you can get from meat that you can't find in vegetables. Now, I'm not saying he should gorge on meat every meal, but the way you wrote it sounded excessive.
Good thing your exams are over. And social conduct? I prefer informal letters to formal ones, anyway, I don't see what's the problem, ha ha. I did expect Ren to take first place in the exam, you mentioned that somewhere a while ago.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 6 . 5/2/2016
HA HA HA HA HA! Nice one, Ren! That's a great stunt you pulled! Clark must feel like Clark Kent now while Kevin...er...well, got givin'. The dialogue was great, and Ren's sarcasm and acting skills made it brilliant. I couldn't stop laughing when Clark and Kevin realized that they had been had.
That second chunk of dialogue right after the fun dressing-down of the "nobles" was a tad too long, though. If there's nothing much happening, don't drag on the dialogue, or that's what I think. Yay.
Good luck for your exams! I know you'll ace them, much like Hikaru Ren. Who's the Senpai? I should check his or her works too.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 5 . 4/1/2016
Wow, this is awesome world building. I feel like I can live in a world like this! Ren is a bit funny, though. I feel sorry for Lionel - did he have to get annoyed at the latter when all he was trying to do was help? Poor Lionel. Oh well. At least he followed the guy...in a tracksuit. Ren should keep track of what he's wearing!
I hope Ren will earn his wand really soon! That sounds interesting (even if Ren's joke fell flat). I guess it's not necessary to use magic with wands, but wands seem like they can help out a lot.
I wonder what kind of trouble found Lionel? That doesn't sound good.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 2 . 3/25/2016
This is pretty fun (though you can probably split this into two chapters, the way they are segregated). I can sort of see why the girl you like didn't read through it. There's a lot of dialogue. I think it's fine, I read through the whole thing, but it was a long chapter. As I said, it would have been better if you had split it up, it would make for less tedious reading.
But it's quite an interesting peek into this world you've crafted, minus all the scientists trying to dissect magicians stuff. But to think Hikaru Ren is suddenly so rich...a pity he can't withdraw all that cash until two years later. That sucks. Oh well...I hope he can manage his finances by then (I'll probably face the same problem with my limited stipend as a graduate student). Funnily enough, his semester (or entrance exam) begins in September...and my semester also begins in September. If you ever pass by Minnesota after August or September this year, let me know!
The principal is...interesting. Victoria Queen isn't a real name, huh? And Ren has quite the weird logic. Er...okay. But whatever. Sixty-seven despite that youthful appearance? That must be one hell of a health food she's eating. Oh well. At least Ren is safe in this school. For now...
| Aay Bralor chapter 1 . 3/2/2016
I felt that this was very well written, and am looking forward to future posts. This happens to be one of my more favorite genres to read; I love the mixtures of science and magic as they can be very complimentary to each other.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 1 . 2/29/2016
Um, it's still not clear how Hikaru came to the conclusion that he's a magician. It's like he made that leap of logic from feeling disorientated (I can tell you that in sci-fi stories where they use technology to teleport, the teleporters still feel disorientated, dizzy or tired). At least elaborate on his thought processes, how he came to that conclusion. He just panicked without any link and logic, thought he was a victim of the witch hunt. Huh?!
Other than that, it's as I said. Awesome chapter! It really was a great chapter. Hikaru's a great character, I can feel his personality burning right through, and the five bullies, though cliched, were comical and I can't wait to see Hikaru get back at them soon. His revenge will be absolutely sweet. But Hikaru has the snark and the style, I can't wait for it! Looking forward to the next chapter!