|Reviews for A Friend in Need|
| alltheeagles chapter 3 . 7/23/2016
Wow, you did it! So the admiral was a bad guy all along - he kind of made me uneasy but I never thought he was an out and out villain. Haha, my suspicions on the rabbit were all wrong! It's great as well that Ace and Brie made up. Maybe some people would be demanding a lovey-dovey scene at the end, but I'm fine with 'no hugging'. It's a refreshing change. The only improvement I could suggest is to maybe insert a little more commentary on Brie's feelings, like does she feel something for Ace but chooses to hide or deny it, or is she really totally not interested in him in a non-friend way?
| alltheeagles chapter 2 . 7/23/2016
i have mixed feelings about this. I do like the complexity of the plot, that it definitely isn't a simple puppy-eyed love story. You left us with so many questions - did Brie mean to betray Ace? Was the admiral playing Brie for a fool or did he really believe that she was willingly helping them get Ace? Who's in the starfighter? I'm really curious now how you will resolve all this in just one more chapter.
The one bright thing was the bunny, but now I can't help suspecting it of being a spy for the admiral because how else would the admiral know where Ace is?
| alltheeagles chapter 1 . 7/23/2016
I thought at first that Brie and Ace were a couple, but it seems he has at least one other lady friend. :) I keep seeing Princess Leia with lightsabers when I imagine the scenes with Brie fighting. Was that on purpose? Anyway I think she makes a believable action-type heroine and I like that, cause I always sigh when I read about helpless princesses in need of a strong man.
As a sci-fi piece, it's not that heavy on the science (the action stands out much more) but I guess it's okay for non hardcore sci-fi readers, and that includes myself!
| Crescent Moon Dancer chapter 3 . 4/16/2016
"Where would I be if I were a virus bomb?" That line cracked me up so badly. xDxDxD No idea why, but it was hilarious. xD
Well, final verdict: I'm still not a sci-fi fan - not by a long shot - but you handled it in a way that made me enjoy it for a change. :) I think you could flesh out your writing a bit more, make it more detailed, you know? Just fill it out a bit. ;) But other than that, this was brilliant. :D
| Crescent Moon Dancer chapter 2 . 4/16/2016
I kind of hate Thansor. Gah! I wish Brie /would/ strangle him! Or shoot him! Or run him through, or toss him out an airlock, or...something!
*Deep breath* I'm calm now. XD This was great, absolutely splendidly written! :) Well done.
| Brievel chapter 3 . 4/15/2016
Having gone to shower, and having time to think this story over, I've come back to add to my review.
You did a very good job showing Thansor's arrogance, cruelty, and braggadocio - officers like that are a dime a dozen in the Empire, and probably the Dominion too!
This chapter was, for some reason, more gripping than the previous one - or perhaps that's just me.
The Dominion is a promising universe, I think you should do more in it - not necessarily with Lady Brie, but just fleshing out that galaxy.
That being said, I did notice a few things that could use some work. How come Lady Brie didn't notice Thansor wasn't injected, too? She's truculent and bellicose, and has no problems whatsoever creating a scene if she suspects she's being double-crossed. And why would she have her family on a world that wasn't spotless yet? She'd have either cleaned it up immediately, or relocated her family. And another thing I briefly touched on - she doesn't care about what her Master could/definitely would do to her - but she is under no illusions whatsoever that he wouldn't go after her family.
Again, *that* being said, her sneaking about the ship to try and warn Ace is absolutely something she'd do. xD Although she wouldn't be above "taking him prisoner" herself, in order to keep her replacement's hands off him - if she cuffed Ace, she could control how tight the cuffs were. ;)
This was quite a fun story, very enjoyable. I hope you consider doing more with the Dominion, I'd love to read more about it!
| Brievel chapter 3 . 4/15/2016
I liked the "gut her with the nearest sharp rock" line. xD Hit me very funny.
No moment. xD Never was one...
| Brievel chapter 2 . 4/15/2016
My own life means nothing - it's what he's going to do to *you!*
| Victoria Best chapter 1 . 3/24/2016
Yay, I liked this! Brie is a cool character, definitely a protagonist I could relate to and cheer on. Great job with characterisation, with her intelligence and strength. I also thought you handled the scenes with Ace well, and I liked seeing them bounce off each other.
I think, for a first attempt at scifi, this is really well done. I'm impressed! Had a very Star Wars feel to it, but not so much that it became similar - it had its own originality. Loved your starships especially!
I think I would have liked a bit more description, and I didn't really want to be thrown a lot of information about the character straight away (the smugglers thing, what her role was, etc.) That's called telling. Let us see for ourselves! :) It will all come together, don't worry, don't need to point anything out.
Anyway, really enjoyed this. Keep writing!
| Crescent Moon Dancer chapter 1 . 3/18/2016
Finally, an official review! XD
As far as I can tell, (sci-fi not exactly being my forte,) this was very well done, very well done indeed. :D And the sci-fi element aside, the writing itself was your usual brilliance. _
On the flip side, I'm not sure how I feel about you kidnapping my sister...xDxD
| Sharon Valentine chapter 1 . 3/15/2016
Excellent story. I was captivated throughout.
I want a space craft that will transport me back and forth to McKinney without traffic and road construction.
Keep up the good work.
| Brievel chapter 1 . 3/12/2016
Technically, yes, it is stealing. But I'll forgive you. )
I go on undercover missions... not uncover missions. xD Perhaps I should let you know the rules of my agreement... I do not display my, shall we say, unusual powers, and my Master sends me covertly where I can use them. I cannot ever lead an attack of my own. Although since this is technically in another universe... I do like this modis operandi better!
For your first foray into SciFi, it's not bad at all. Quite good, actually.
Although... I don't sit in cubicles. Or an office. If I did have an office, it would be more like a study - and overflowing with plants. And glass. Just for future reference.