|Reviews for Indigo Ceiling|
| Woedin chapter 1 . 10/3/2017
That pain of unrequited love, it can truly run as deep as a jagged blade. And how sad, those thoughts of the "what might have beens" can be, when love's flame ebbs, or goes out all together. The way we feel absolutely invisible, when a person we've lost sleep over, is oblivious to our attempts to reveal, true love. But worse of all is that wound inflicted, when they know, when they can see a lonely, and breaking heart, yet it seems, they care not at all... You say so much in these three lines, it's amazing. And although there are few to be seen in the sky, by light of day. I hope you may spy on that blue horizon above, a much brighter star with which to set a course, my friend. Love your work.
| Jack Bellows chapter 1 . 6/19/2016
I'm not sure what Bob means when he calls it cliche, but it does make me want to look for mistakes.
Perhaps it was the way your reader would long to know more about the persona's struggle... But I would assume that was the point, right?
At the end of the day; part of me just wishes Bob's criticism came with a solution so that I could have learned something.
| Bob Story Builder chapter 1 . 4/3/2016
I don't like this poem because it is dull. The syntax is vibrant but flat because it conveys ideas and images that are cliche or common. The poem does not give look to a wider picture with a fresh look but an old one. You can improve by diversifying your writing and poetry you write.
| The Drive To '17 chapter 1 . 4/3/2016
Very nice. This actually made me think. The last line is good. I think formatting-wise you could have spaced after "that" but other then that, Good job!