Reviews for Unthinkable Love
Wakao chapter 1 . 4/4/2016
Hi Archia,

This is a very sweet love story. I like the simplicity and push-pull attraction the protagonist feels for his partner/wife! Love/hate passionate romances are my favorite. However, I felt that your sentences could have been more varied in structure. They tend to be quite long, you could try switching them up by playing with sentence length and maybe including some dialogue. Also, you tend to 'tell' rather than 'show', which is why 'burning passion' is repeated a few times. It would be better to describe his actions, such as how he can't resist pushing her fringe out of her face or some other gesture to convey his affection. I can honestly see this as a multi-chaptered story from what you've outlined here. :)

W.