Reviews for The Immortals (Part 1): A New World |
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LorrahBear chapter 1 . 5/6/2016 I like how you referred to No Name as the awoken one for the first chunk. It gave this a vaguely mythological feeling. I am also interested to see how the training and memory earning goes. I want to like No Name, but his earlier dismissal of Nightshade came off really douchy. We all have our flaws though, and it's good to remember our characters do too. :) My biggest suggestion would be to tone down your use of exclamation marks. In chat is fine, but he words themselves should be exciting enough to not need an exclamation mark within the actual narration. I look forward to more. |