|Reviews for my dream guy|
| Bob Zox chapter 1 . 4/20/2016
Besides the running sentences the only thing I would suggest you change is to correct "existence" to "exist" so that it reads:
"Why must you only exist in my dreams?"
I love how you are expressing your feelings in your writing Laura. This gives your writing realism and helps you to connect with the readers. Our personal experiences with feelings is a great power we can tap for writing stories and poems that move readers and tugs at their heartstrings.
| Curiously-Morbid 'Lilly chapter 1 . 4/19/2016
Hello! I'm Lilly.
So, a few things. First, the grammar could be patched up a bit. Your writing is good, but I think if you worked a little on grammar, it would help the flow and feeling of the writing.
That being said, the feeling of something so close, yet so far is one near and dear to the hearts of many. Knowing someone we love dearly, without them truly being real can be one of the most frustrating parts of dreams of having dreams or daydreams.
So, overall, you're pretty good on spelling. The only thing I can suggest working on is grammar, of which you can easily do with a little bit of time, and perhaps slowing down while you write, or editing later.
So, cheers! Nice work,