Reviews for Defenseless |
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![]() ![]() ![]() awesome outcome! you go, girl! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yikes. Though I know quite a few girls who I wouldn't be surprised if they carried knives. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow, nice! Keep up the good writing! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Alfred Hitchcock used to publish suspense magazines and books that featured, um, suspense stories and mysteries. I could very easily see this story featured in them. And, hey, I was just as surprised as those college guys were when she pulled out that Bowie knife. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is a really solid first chapter. You've definitely caught my attention, and I'm so interested to learn more about your character and her ability to protect herself at such young age. Initially, I was confused because I misread your summary, and thought she was an eleven year old, and was like "no way is this an eleven year old!" So on that note, I would say you've done a great job of making your character young, but not too young. She definitely reads like you intended. Only one typo that I noticed: "...cursing herself as [every] type of obvious fool..." |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well, I didn't expect a turn quite like that... Excuse me as I sit a little awestruck from the sheer badassery... Okay, better now. I thought this was a really descriptive piece, rife with tension and dramatic atmosphere. I really really liked it. Happy writing! ~ Zukafu |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh. 0_0 Wow. The writing is riveting... although the names show a distinctly Western tint. o_0 xD |
![]() ![]() ![]() Jeez, put that frogsticker away! Just hold on... *goes behind alleyway and beats the heck out of the college boys* Okay onto the review: I really liked how you used the line "Faced down the pack" it really made it feel like she was being hunted. I also liked how you said "Steel nerve and steel blade" Your writing was wonderful as always and you really put a lot of emotion into your character. Great job my friend :) |