Reviews for Grendel
mandywhitrod chapter 9 . 7/8/2016
great story .. looking forward to the next chapter.
Itr's leaving me with a creepy feeling now :)
GirlInTheMask chapter 1 . 6/12/2016
Not bad. Keep writing. Seems like something out of Law and Order, but with a supernatural edge to it. Good job.
Solemn Coyote chapter 1 . 6/12/2016
-The opening line feels a little bit tell vs. show. Tell's not always a bad thing. A story made entirely of show is usually a struggle to get through, but the first two sentences didn't hook me. They didn't make me ask a question that would pull me in deeper. Maybe something like "It was night and the air was ice" would carry the reader into the next sentence more quickly. The real hook here is about what the woman wrote, and the longer it takes the reader to get to it, the more likely they are to put the book down or get distracted before the story can snare them.

-Great crime scene description and good use of forensics language. It's enough to give the prose some authority, but not enough to overwhelm the reader.

-"Jade didn't believe in ghosts; but she didn't like the morgue." That is a *way* stronger opening line. Great lead-in to a section.

-Huh. Is Grendel the vic and *Beowulf* the killer? I wouldn't have thought that from the title and synopsis, but the part about the John Doe having eaten lots of vegetables and fish has got me wondering.

-Dialog is good and serviceable. Every character feels like they could have a distinct voice and this would probably be pretty great as an audiobook with a decent reader.

-Overall, this is a solid first chapter. It doesn't drag me in, but it's got more of a gentle pull going, and that's not bad. I like the setting. I like the slow-burn reveal on how the world is, and I like the "five seconds into the future" feel of the setting. This is really cool and I hope you keep with it.