|Reviews for The Magic Shop|
| MysteriousFire chapter 8 . 9/10/2018
Why can main characters never just stay in one place and wait for the others? How ever are they going to find Eugene and Harold in that shop?
They sell the Grim Reaper's cloak? Why does that sound like something the sims would do? XD
Eugene, I think it's a bit dangerous to claim who your father is and then mention he's a fugitive in the next sentence.
I too have a feeling Alfred will be the Human Phoenix...
Magic shops just throw you out with your stuff? Strange customer experience
The "if you haven't guessed yet" feels kinda out of place here actually. You're never breaking the fourth wall and now suddenly you are. It pulled me out of the story a bit.
Half of her is in Germany, half of her is home, now that is useful!
Alfred is a diary user! Now it sounds like some kind of drug. But I didn't see that one coming.
I liked this meeting, with the diary placing them literally in front of each other. It was very well written.
Karly hates the evil she is witnessing? Even though Alfred is giving a reasonable motivation for doing evil things?
Ah, the day the world ended... Of course it was Karly's doing!
Finally, she starts questioning the diary! Much too late though, I guess.
| MysteriousFire chapter 7 . 9/10/2018
Teddy and Eugene saying goodbye was cute!
I would like to discover more about superficial Jessica. I wonder if she'll play a role later on. Dan even felt heartbroken about her :o
"If we run into anyone, we don't know these two" Dan is becoming a cynical comic relief part of this group and I love it :D
Really? Teddy told Karly? I thought you were better than that, Teddy.
I should have known though that Karly would find out. They wouldn't get away that easy.
Shutting up Dan was the best display of magic BOM could have done XD Brilliant!
You won't be able to walk, see or speak, but don't worry... Great reassuring, BOM!
Very nice description of the journey and Eugene's thoughts!
Their clumsiness is funny :D
Oo I would have thought they would land in BOM's back garden or so, not in a town square. This will be interesting.
They are like Harry when he flooed to Diagon Alley :D
Onto the next chapter! :D
| MysteriousFire chapter 6 . 5/15/2018
Poor Teddy's parents, they just want their son to be safe. How indeed do you lecture your kid if something like this happens.
I despise the mentality of Karly's parents too. Parents who just want to show off their kid are terrible.
The diary is plain creepy now.
Poor, poor Eugene!
Ah, the four of them, finally together :D
A wild BOM appears! And kidnaps them, kinda? He is a very strange old man indeed.
I love how you described their doubts at changing their entire future, but then made it so tempting that they would be the biggest idiots to not learn magic. You really took me along in their train of thought.
At least they get to say goodbye. Quick thinking Jimmy, I was feeling bad for their families and Teddy already.
I like how Dan keeps his motives private. It makes him a more interesting character.
Reyna is great :D I love how accepting she is.
| MysteriousFire chapter 5 . 3/28/2018
Karly is starting to get mental here. Yay, they think I'm dead! Did she really think this through? Won't she ever miss her parents and want to go back?
"Did you think any of this through." Teddy echoing my thoughts exactly :D I like how he's one of the first main characters ever that doesn't want to be part of the trouble.
I wonder if the diary is turning her into an evil person or just bringing her own evilness out.
This chapter really makes me feel as if I'm watching a movie instead of reading a story :o Well done!
Those jars of animal blood! I have a feeling they will get important... And those crystals they found up north :D
Poor Eugene, finding all those things in his own cellar.
Daily paranormal crimes? I thought magic was supposed to be nice.
Teddy comforting Eugene is very nice! Even when they were just sitting next to each other, he was there for him.
Nice forshadowing at the end of the chapter!
| Rumors of War chapter 4 . 8/27/2017
Good chapter, interesting story, fast paced rather intriguing. I'm not real big into magic stuff, but I think I'm going to follow this one, keep up the good work, and keep things moving right along
| MysteriousFire chapter 4 . 8/23/2017
POV change! Interesting! I don't agree on her problem with routine though.
That was a great buildup to opening the book!
It might be easier to read if you put the writing in the diary in italics, to have it stand out from the text.
The diary is kinda nice XD But I don't trust it completely.
Ooooh this is getting interesting! Eugene's dad knows it?
Teddy is going to visit Karly? While her parents are such light sleepers? Please Teddy, don't do stupid things just so you can be a gryffindor.
But at least he found Karly being... possessed?
Karly's parents are kinda overreacting. And scary. Punching kids and all.
Floor, don't eat Teddy! We need him for the plot! Quite an exit though.
Karly can... wall-travel?
Teddy, I kinda believe that walking away from a murderscene with you as prime suspect won't do you well. Nor your parents.
This chapter was really good!
| MysteriousFire chapter 3 . 6/25/2017
Jimmy can communicate with ghosts? :o Fascinating!
"He wished she'd remember he was injured, not blind." Lol XD
Aw they look like best friends for life, writing on the cast. Although they met Karly only two chapters ago. They remind me of the Marauders here!
Ghosts are evil. I know at least one who is. And another one who's cruel. Don't get your hopes up Teddy.
Poor Jimmy, having to stay in the hospital for weeks.
Spirit Labyrinth? Sounds interesting.
Karly really is a bad actor. I'm glad to see Teddy can see through it. I wonder what Karly will do with the diary.
| MysteriousFire chapter 2 . 6/2/2017
Teddy found Tom Riddle's diary :o
Wow, he is actually careful when it comes to the diary. He is thinking of consequenses. Well done, Teddy!
Oooh Karly's mum is angry at Teddy? This is getting more mysterious and interesting. And now she's sitting on his bed! Can she teleport?
Teddy drew comic books? Nice! :D It could turn into a great story one day...
Karly is stalky! She's hiding from her dad? What's going on here?
I really like the way you're writing Karly's reactions. She sure has mood swings!
Oh Harold and Eugene XD I hope they won't fight over Karly.
The Lighthouse sounds cozy. I'd go there :D
I like Harold in this chapter! :) The conversation between him and Teddy was great, it felt very natural.
Jimmy! Teddy is brave to help him. I wonder what and who that giant was.
| Kyouko L. Kirkland chapter 1 . 3/28/2017
Hello! I'm very sorry I didn't read your story, that's not why I'm here. I'm interested in becoming a staff member of your community, Baka Writers! with an adventure parody story I'm writing called The Unusual Adventures of Hironori and Friends. I couldn't find another way to contact you, so I had to use the review section of one of your stories. I'm very sorry.
| Emily McCartney chapter 1 . 2/26/2017
This is an good story! I am looking forward to seeing more about it.
| MysteriousFire chapter 1 . 2/20/2017
I like the intro. It sets the stage for the rest very well!
Aw, Teddy being so excited he forgets the basket xD
Karly's mother is a bit strange, pushing a stranger into her daughters' room.
They're watching P.R.N. :D I like the reference Wait, she got Melina from it? :o
It's amazing really how fast eleven years old kids can become friends!
Lol at the taking her hand and then "No, my shoes" XD
Mysterious Arthur appearing. I find him interesting...
Indeed, how does Karly know about the Magic Shop? *suspicious look* I don't trust her anymore already.
BOM! He appears! Wow! It feels unreal, reading about him :o
I like the idea of home is where you want to stay.
Magic is like a drug? That's an interesting take on it. Makes it a bit balanced, otherwise there would be no reason why someone would not want magic.
And Karly instantly waves her new wand at everything. Of course.
Eugene and Harold! I'm glad to see them introduced :)
I wonder what will happen with this diary. Is it whispering to Teddy?
This was a very good chapter! The pacing was just right, first some introduction, then the chase which sped things up and then the magic part. I like the mystery that Karly and BOM are at the moment. Keep this up! :D
| SupaSaiyanGamer chapter 1 . 8/13/2016
After reading Apple, a prequel series sounds exciting. Especially after reading this chapter. This was quite a read too. Having Teddy as the focal point for this was a nice move. I'm curious if it's that way for the whole series however.
| Strovist chapter 1 . 5/2/2016
uh oh... I see a major foreshadowing. Great writing:)