|Reviews for Don't Be Fooled By Cold-Hearted Snakes|
| XAbsoluteZeroX chapter 3 . 5/25/2016
So I am assuming this is the new story you were telling me about so I decided to check it out! Seems very detailed and sure of itself so far, and the characters are easily distinguishable and memorable. I'm really hoping things are looking up for our MC soon! I like Davenport, actually. Lol.
Ps. There are a few minor spelling mistakes in the first few paragraphs. Ones you'd likely not catch just reading it over yourself.
1. 3rd paragraph, first line: 'If was a mouse; I wasn't enthused about having to trap it.'
Should be, 'If IT was a mouse; I wasn't enthused about having to trap it.'
2. The sentence right after that: 'I'd heard the 'in' East Clay adage.'
I think it should simply be, 'I'd heard the East Clay adage.' Yeah?
3. 4th paragraph, second sentence: 'We' mice and cockroaches, I especially appreciated...'
I think should be, 'WITH' mice and cockroaches, I especially appreciated...'
Other than that, the rest of the chapter, as well as the ones before looked clear! Looking forward to the next installment!
| Waddle Doo chapter 3 . 5/25/2016
Her life kinda seems to suck- this chapter shows to problems people face. Interested to see what they do next.
| Waddle Doo chapter 2 . 5/25/2016
I think she is right not to trust him.
| Guest chapter 2 . 5/23/2016
Can't wait for more... :)
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/23/2016
Good start, I am intrigued!
| DaisyJane chapter 2 . 5/22/2016
Yes I do wish that you would continue this story, I am already hooked. A few suggestions would be to give yourself a day between finishing a chapter and editing it to give it fresh eyes in finding mistakes. But you really didn't have that many. Also I would do a bit more universe building. I am assuming this story takes place in the future but have no real grasp about how this world works. I am sure you will layer it in. Otherwise your characters a immediately intriguing and that makes me want another chapter ASAP.
| Waddle Doo chapter 1 . 5/20/2016
1nteresting. I'm curious to see what happens next. Nice start.