Reviews for Firsts are Hard to Give Away |
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![]() ![]() ![]() I really really liked this. You managed to convey so much emotion and imagery in those first three segments. My only suggestion (which you should take with many grains of salt - I don't write poetry for a reason and that reason is me) would be to remove the contraction from the last line. Personally, I feel like it adds a sudden looseness and uncaring-ness to what is so powerful and full. Great job! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really love the imagery here. Its got an edge to it that removes the usual "first time" gooey factor. I think the third stanza is my favorite. Although I think it should say "was their skin" as the rest of the poem is in past tense. It think there is a missing word or punctuation in the fourth stanza. "then immediacy as they..." or "then immediacy. They gasped..." The language is so crisp you may want to cosider cutting "like this". I am also not a huge fan of parenthesis. The end may be sharper if you punctuate "words." and then "Like they were the truth", still as a separate line. Those are all little things though and are of course, completely up to you. Overall this was great. |