|Reviews for Learning to Bow|
| Guest chapter 19 . 3/17
Ahhhh I love this story! Please update soon!
| RandomReviewer chapter 19 . 2/23
hello I’m here
| LettersInMotion chapter 19 . 2/22
Okay, so let me break down my entire experience.
This story is wonderfully, and adorably written. I think you stay true to your characters, their feelings, their emotions, and even their depth. I think what you mostly struggle with is planning. It’s obvious parts of this story was written at very different times because: you forgot about Tim. The enemy pack disappears and we never touch back on what happened afterwards. The whole treaty thing is shaky. Wasn’t Ara writing some kind of book for Willow? Kind of confused on some back story contraditictions and some changes in speed and time. It’s just not consistent and the plot is kind of elementary.
Had you planned thus story better, it would be publishable quality. You’re a really good writer. None of my criticisms will help this story because the issues are on what has already been written. You’re writing style is incredible. You should pair up with someone who has a good story idea and can give you plot to write - or come up with a better well thought plot. Spend more time thinking about the story from the enemies point of view. How can they win? They will do what they believe will make them win just like the main character. Right now they’re mindless bad guys that sneer at the main character. Your story is perfect for an adolescent girl who just wants to read all the cute parts that you do so well. But if you want a reader to truly remember your story and think about the events that occur when they’re finished, you’ll have to put a lot more effort and thought into the plot.
I’ve favorited you as an author because I think you could become a very, very good writer. Don’t just write to get chapters out. Script out the entire book first, then do that beautiful job that you do.
I can pick out some incredible parts that you’ve written and they are astounding. You don’t need to improve your writing. You need to improve your planning and creativity, because honestly, you’re lacking. Time will fix that. I don’t see time and effort in the plot. Just in the way you choose your words.
Hopefully my criticism is welcomed as you say, because I don’t want you to think I don’t like the story. I read it beginning to end and I enjoyed it. It is fantastically worded, and emotions are portrayed wonderfully. I think Ara is very well thought out. I love Jack, and every unique character you introduce. You’re great at characterization and portrayal, so I’ll continue to read everything you write. Nice job on this story, I do love it. It can of course use some work, but so can everything.
| LettersInMotion chapter 18 . 2/22
So... no telling Tim she’s not going to live with him? That’s fine. Didn’t want to read about that scene at all. :-(
| LettersInMotion chapter 17 . 2/22
I’m so conflicted. One: I’m that same speechless, amazed, happy girl who just gushed over a beautifully written first kiss. I love how she can finally feel the acceptance she deserves and how Ara just went through a monumental amazing change. It’s beautiful and I love it love it love it.
However, the last stupid part about a God. Oooooooooh no you didn’t. This is a convert story isn’t it? I’ll tolerate because I love it, but no no no I don’t like it.
This chapter was beautiful. You’re such a lovely writer.
| LettersInMotion chapter 16 . 2/22
Interesting chapter. Tim is awkward, but kind. He’s a really likable character.
| LettersInMotion chapter 15 . 2/22
Tim is such a cool character, and of course I love Jack. This chapter was a little heavy I’m covmersatiom that wasn’t entirely necessary. Still good though, still fun to read
| LettersInMotion chapter 14 . 2/22
While this was a beautifully written chapter, full of great detail and urgency, the plot again fails to match your writing ability. I’m sorry, but this enemy pack is stupid. Did they not expect Tim to be a werewolf? And why would he not wait til they were actually going to kill him to phase? Is the treaty broken now? Are they at war? Or is it a “oh man, the guy got away. We’ll just continue being poorly written plot device bad guys so the main character can have some sort of conflict in the horizon.”
Yup, plot is poorly thought through. But your writing is so good I can’t help myself. I also really like your characters. You should spend some more time planning your story and be sure that all characters, especially the bad guys, make sense. Because they really don’t.
| LettersInMotion chapter 13 . 2/22
The whole scenario doesn’t really make sense. How did anyone know about Tim? Why do they have him? What’s their goal and how does their actions support that? You should rethink your plot a little bit if you ever tried to published this. In terms of online fiction though, it’s great. So don’t feel bad about my comment. Just, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense the sequence of events
| LettersInMotion chapter 12 . 2/22
I don’t think “pansy” is a nice word. I didn’t find it funny.
This was an okay chapter. It’s a creative gift idea though that Ara is making
| LettersInMotion chapter 11 . 2/22
Woah! The police officer is back! Connection? I think so!
| LettersInMotion chapter 10 . 2/22
Aweee. This was cute. This is what readers want. This is what we READ FOR. Good chapter. I think Jack as a dog is just the loveliest character. -)
| LettersInMotion chapter 9 . 2/22
Oh my god. I can’t even. I just-
You are an amazing writer. I can’t even fathom - you’re just,
This was amazing, and incredible and perfect. In a few paragraphs you brought tears and emotions and oh my gosh. I’m speechless. This chapter is what has earned you a permanent position on my favorites list. I sincerely hope to read more brilliant pieces like this one. I can’t even respond properly.
This was good. Very good.
| LettersInMotion chapter 8 . 2/22
Have you ever watched a show called the 100? There is a guy named Jaha. He’s all I can imagine for this character.
Oh and the apology was super cute.
| LettersInMotion chapter 7 . 2/22
Haha, the authors note at the end is hilarious. All writers have the alter ego. It’s why write reviews for every chapter if I like a story. I hope that it fills your message box and makes you want to give us MORE. Haha, but in all honesty, this chapter is super confusing. You should look at it again. I’m very confused about what happened. Their motivations are kind of fuzzy to. But you did a great job of making man seem intimidating.
I really like Jack