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Have you ever tried separating your longer paragrahps into two. Even if it is just for fictionpress? Just to make things a little easier to read on the site.

As for the story it is pretty interesting so far. I do wonder why this is a Prologue since it seems rather important to the story, so it could be a regular chapter 1, but that is me just being an idiot and nitpicking

Excellent scene-setting! The world that you've created seems very different to others I've read about before, and the characters are likable. I did notice a few typos ('heir' should be 'air' and there is no name after 'asked...tilting his head curiously'), but I can see that your writing style is very sophisticated.

Whoa!
I really love the word choice and imagery here! Especially with Apollo changing form to his demon persona, the shock and awe of it was wonderful and even I'm a bit scared!
I also liked how Apollo schemed and did the customary evil monologue. Wonderful job! :D
I eagerly await the next chapter!

Amazing.
Simply amazing. I'm really loving your word choice and your characterization here. I don't know much about any of these characters but I care about them all the same. The magic of this world sure seems powerful if it can give gifts and powers of the spirit world to mortals. I'm intrigued and can't wait for more! :D