|Reviews for Mother is Dying|
| Sally chapter 1 . 6/28/2016
This story is...I've no words to describe it.
So many themes perfectly interwoven, raw, realistic flawed characters, deep analysis of human psyche that is not unnecessarily lingered upon.
The English used is welcome relief for me. Nowadays, such small vocabulary, terribly used words, synonyms used that make no sense in the particular sentence, etcetera, yet surprisingly didn't feel old fashioned, felt modern. - Except Agley, may be; like her name and history behind it, her way of addressing and talking, too old-fashioned.
I also felt she wasn't given enough justice as a character; her role has to be expanded, fleshed out more. Just used as plot device doesn't make sense, I don't know how to express it, but it seems just...not suitable or right with her. She seems too important to be used only as a plot device of bringing in Lizzie.
Upon the whole, this story is amazing except for one outright flaw: it has too much going on to be a simple twenty-thousand word story. One annoying thing about modern stories is that they explain all things in the beginning in simple, bare-all-once-and-for-all fashion. They don't *show*, they tell. This destroys whole beauty of literature, so that in modern times, we try so hard to look for themes that may, perchance, perhaps be there than actually decipher the text.
This story feels like final, *first* draft, not even beta/second one.
Hope to see one from you soon.