You already know. You already have my love when you originally sent this to me. I actually dug up my info to write a review and to put this on my list. Love it. . Exciting and nerve wracking to see them out there for others to read. But you already know my love for it.

Yes, I am repetitive. Psh.

Not a bad start. Your narration could be a lot more interesting. For example, instead of saying "He did this and did this," you could write "Pretending to snore, the father was rewarded with his daughter's laughter as she attempted to tickle his pajama-clad torso." Don't try to make it sound so robotic.
The dialogue isn't bad, I'd say you did a good job portraying how a seven-year-old and a ten-year-old act. All in all, nice work. Keep it up.