|Reviews for The Days of Others' Youth|
| Just a Crazy Man chapter 6 . 9/3/2016
| shika-paprika chapter 2 . 7/19/2016
You didn't read the review I gave you last time, didn't you? This is looks as terrible as the last chapter.
| shika-paprika chapter 1 . 7/12/2016
This could be a lot better. You have choppy sentences, not only in the narration, but in the dialogue as well. Use other ways to distinguish the characters instead of just referring them to their name, like their appearance for example. For the dialogue, I noticed you liked to repeat words like "nodded, smiled, said". Try to make it more interesting. Describe how they said it or what they were doing as they said it.