Reviews for Vhanaiel
Sychronergy chapter 6 . 3/14/2017
Ooo, another great line at the end. I like the little flip you inserted in this chapter: Julan imagines Vhan beneath him while everyone one imagines Vhan on top o.O; That aside, I don't fully understand Julan's love/obsession/obedience thing though I'm slightly chalking it up to all the binds and some minor forms of Stockholm. I still think Vhan is a fascinating character. :)
Sychronergy chapter 4 . 3/14/2017
Love this little line here: "I want you to do me a favor." - Shoulda just stopped at do ya,"

Erm. Yeah. I hope you don’t mind me quoting, haha. It's a habit when I see lines I really, really enjoy reading. And there's a lot of them in this story.

I like how you inserted that little tidbit of how the dog (erm. I feel bad calling him this, but his name escapes me sometimes) snarled back at the snake and the snack chickened out. It's another one of those little details that adds a lot of tension and push-pull.

I have to admit, the end of the chapter left me speechless for a moment (in a really good way). I didn't expect Vhan to go that far, but I don't … fault him for going straight for the kill either. Is it disturbing if I say that I wasn't particularly bothered by what Vhan did in the sense that I can understand why he did it from the way you set it up? I'm not saying he was right but I really like how you pulled that one off, because he wasn't some one-dimensional "IDK WTH he's doing" character. I'm also really - intrigued - by Julan's weird obedience/reaction to praise thing - if Vhan'd stayed - I feel like he might've actually let Teiga… Yeah, that would be a whole new level of effed up [though that might tip Vhan from 'redeemable' into 'not' for future chapters]

It's a sure way to break anyone and I sort of really anticipate whether you're going to redeem Vhan or not. I'm not sure, I feel like this is the breaking point where that tense back-and-forth ends and their dynamic shifts - somewhere. Either deep into the abyss or upward.
Sychronergy chapter 3 . 3/14/2017
Still loving Vhan. :8

(No, really. I love anti-heroes main/POV characters with minor sadistic streaks and a cutting tongue. The traits make characters really, really vivid in my opinion. It's my absolute favorite kind of character to read, more so than heroes/good guys/world-savers about because "villains" make everything so interesting. )

I also like the madman. The way he just "went straight for a kill" in the sense that Vhan doesn't seem to like people kissing his lips and he did just that with the bloody kiss. I also love Vhan's 'punishment' in turn. The wings, the way he noticed Vhan's scars - There's a great deal of antagonism between them and it's a thrill to read C:

I like this line in particular "It's about what you will do to yourself…from a man who hasn't earned it. It could change you." - it's very… ominous. Also a bit philosophical, which is lovely.

Another golden line "That's a lot of blood." "Then bring a lot of towels."

And another: "dig a deep grave.. " "Bury me with your hands.." "not until you've prayed.."

I *REALLY* love this work so far - the dynamics are delicious. You'd imagine that, in the position Julan is in, he'd have lost everything. But he's observant - he keeps his head and his pride. Despite the fact that he's bound, tortured and hurt, he's just not giving up and each one of this action/word is just weighed so carefully - everything takes the expressway to where it hurts Vhan the most. This Vhan/Julan interaction-chemistry is out of the world. Every time they're together I'm at the edge of my seat. I also like the tidbit between Vhan and Laene.

That said, VHAN IS A LIKEABLE CHARACTER. Yes, that needed caps. I don't mean it in a "I'd like to be friends with this guy" way, but he's the main character (thus far) and he makes things very, very entertaining for me as the reader. His actions are cruel, but not entirely uncalled for and he also establishes himself as a very complex individual who's not defined by what he does to Julan. I'm rooting for him ;) Go rain some chaos and destruction ;)
Sychronergy chapter 2 . 3/14/2017
Still fighting you!

I, once again, like the exchanges in this chapter - "Pretty / prettier on you" etc. The lore and world-building is also spectacular. Loving everything so far :)
Sychronergy chapter 1 . 3/14/2017
Really enjoying this piece right now! "Dangerously powerful" "Well, that's my favorite kind of powerful." Hahahaha - That exchange is flipping GOLD. Loving every bit of this fic so far (: I mean, armies, wars, hot sex and demons. There's nothing not to love.

And I love Vhan the most - he's so delightful to read. Probably a bit of a a-hole, but that's my favorite kind of character (So I will totally *fight* you on that claim that Vhan is not likeable) :3 Great work writing this!
MySecretIndulgences chapter 44 . 1/7/2017
I know it's been awhile, and it took me forever to reach what took place here at the end, but thank you Cerana so very much for this story. It's been a privilege to read your work. I have loved every word of Vhanaiel, just as I loved every word of Leika (I hope I spelled that correctly). If you should ever put them to print, or out as an ebook, let me know and I will be among the first to support you. :)
Vaesen chapter 44 . 1/5/2017
Hi ! It's been awhile !

Sorry for not posting as soon as I read the last chapters, but I did read them the day you posted them. Sadly, I don't remember everything since it's already been two months ago. Yet, I know I was smiling in the end ; it was a good one. Feeling a bit sad because of Aiber's death and proud of Sharleon. As always, I'm searching my words in English, so let's just said I really love it x').

See you soon ! :)

P.S: I started reading Black Marion, love it too !
tmelange1 chapter 44 . 11/27/2016
Bravo. It had been a long time since I'd visited FP, and to find this story is just astonishing to me. Truly, you should pull this story down and publish it on Amazon. If you're not willing to do that, you should really set up a patreon page to support your writing. Don't be embarrassed to do it. Times have changed, and everyone is doing it, and doing it successfully.

The reason why I say you should publish this is that I've read so many self-published stories in the fantasy genre that aren't half as good as this. Many people write, but few write with innate talent for expressing passion on the page. You have a lyrical writing style, and the strength to write a story that expounds underlying themes about the way of the world. Your writing reminds me of Patricia McKillip.

Another reason why I feel this is publishable is because of the consistent quality. The story never fell off, like so many amateur efforts do once too many balls get thrown in the air. The pace of the story and the characterizations remained at the same caliber from the first chapter to the last.

It's also a welcome surprise to find an m/m story with adult themes where the sex is integral to the story and not gratuitous. Your sex scenes were sublime, poetical and expressive of character. You couldn't have done a better job.

Anyway, I'm going to copy and paste this story into a document and save it as a book in my Calibre library to read over and over again. If you ever decide to publish it or otherwise monetize it, I'd be honored to buy a copy. Put me on your mailing list at tmelange at gmail. If you're smart, you'll publish this and let it earn you residual income for all your hard work.

"That he trusted Sharleon, with more than the heart he had given—with his life and his eternity. With the throne and the fates of all his people, with the beauty of this world and the time he had left to see it, and all the means he had to share it. With his soul, and what a frightening, incredible faith it was."

-Beautiful!
tmelange1 chapter 39 . 11/26/2016
So...I'm at chapter 38, and I thought I'd take a moment to say how I haven't stopped reading this story since I stumbled across it yesterday. I took the bus to Target and sat at the stop and on the bus reading it on my phone. Took a short break to sleep for a few hours with my laptop on the bed so when I could open my eyes again I could keep reading. That's how into this story I am. It has been a depressing two weeks since the elections in the US, and I've been mired in disappointment and disgust. This story has been...well, it's a joy to read. If we're in the time of the apocalypse, I'm glad to have this story at least.
tmelange1 chapter 17 . 11/26/2016
This story is positively riveting! Bravo!
Guest chapter 1 . 11/25/2016
Hi. I have never actually commented on any stories before but this story is absolutely amazing. You did such a great job and I'm so glad that sharleon stuck with vhan the whole time and never gave up. I thought the characters were developed really well and the pacing was fabulous and you're just an amazing writer. I hope you come back on soon and finish your other story. I'm very excited to read more of your stuff. Thank you
P. S. I read this one without reading Leika and it made complete sense to me. It's definitely a good stand alone story.
Anon J chapter 44 . 11/20/2016
Poor Aiber :(
I'm not sure I fully understand how Mavariel lost...
but the story was very interesting and a nice read despite a few inconsistencies here and there.
CragHack chapter 38 . 11/16/2016
Not to be harsh, but I can't take this story seriously anymore. The Angels had twice the men, almost every Angel has stronger magic than any sorcerer, and they still lose? I am sorry to say that you didn't make the battle believable, even though it was well written.
FamishedNight chapter 44 . 11/15/2016
Awesome story~! Loved it. _
another guest chapter 44 . 11/9/2016
Ah, that was very beautiful, thank you. I was wondering how you would end it, because I think it wouldn't be satisfying if Vhan simply took his magic back, became the most powerful angel again and won because of that. But here he wins his throne back by real leadership qualities like being able to trust and share responsibility. And when he get's his magic back it's like a crowning ceremony.
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